GOODBYE to YESTERDAY by Wanda E. Brunstetter

CHAPTER 1
Bird-in-Hand, Pennsylvania
    W ould you like another piece of bacon?” Meredith Stoltzfus asked her husband, barely able to look at his grim expression as he sat across from her at the breakfast table.
    “No thanks,” Luke mumbled. The sparkle was gone from his beautiful turquoise eyes, and there was no joy on his bearded face. They’d only been married a little over a year, and already the thrill seemed to have worn off. At least for Luke it must have. Meredith had been so sure about his love for her during their courting days and throughout the first eight months of marriage. But now Luke’s attentiveness had been replaced with worry and defeat. When Luke lost his job at the nearby furniture store, everything had changed. Oh, not at first. Luke had been optimistic, saying he was sure the economy would turn around and that he’d either get hired back or would find another job where he could use his woodworking skills. But that had been six months ago, and he was still out of work, as were some of the other Amish men the store had let go. Luke hardly talked about it anymore, but Meredith knew it was eating at him.
    “Would you like some more juice?” Meredith asked, reaching for the pitcher of apple juice.
    He shook his head. “I’m fine. Haven’t finished what’s in my glass.”
    “No, you’re not fine, and I wish you would talk about it instead of sitting there, staring at your plate.”
    He shrugged. “There’s nothin’ to talk about.”
    Meredith sighed. Lately, all she had to do was look at her husband to know he was depressed. Luke’s stance was no longer confident. He walked slightly hunched over, with a look of uncertainty and doubt. Gone was his open-minded manner, replaced by edginess and impatience. Luke’s folks had offered to help out financially, but Luke had turned them down. Since Luke’s dad had sold his bulk food store and worked part-time for the man who’d bought it, Luke’s folks were getting by okay, but they weren’t well off. Meredith’s parents wanted to help as well, but they had seven other children to raise—all still living at home. And Grandma Smucker had moved in with them two years ago, after Grandpa died of a heart attack, so she, too, needed their financial support. On more than one occasion, Meredith had suggested that she look for a job, but Luke wouldn’t hear of that. He insisted that it was his job to provide for them.
    Meredith, trying to be optimistic, was thankful that while Luke had been working at the furniture store, he’d put some money into a savings account he had started even before he’d met her. They’d been given some money from several people who’d attended their wedding, and that had gone into the bank as well. Since losing his job, Luke had sold some of his handcrafted projects at the local farmers’ market, as well as at a few gift shops. That had helped some; but for the most part, they’d been living off their savings. That money wouldn’t last forever, and Meredith feared they might be unable to meet all their financial obligations if Luke didn’t find a job soon.
    She sighed. Being forced to pinch pennies had put a strain on their marriage. When Meredith and Luke had first gotten married she’d been convinced that the love between them could withstand any hurdle. Now, she wasn’t so sure. To make things more complicated, Meredith felt pretty sure she was pregnant. She’d sometimes been irregular but had never missed two consecutive months. After her appointment with a local midwife next week, she’d know for sure. She hadn’t told Luke, though, and felt apprehensive about doing that before she was certain. He was already uptight about their finances, without worrying about the possibility of having another mouth to feed in about six months.
    But if the midwife confirmed Meredith’s suspicions, she’d have to tell Luke soon because it wouldn’t be long before she’d start to show. If Luke could just find another job,