GOODBYE to YESTERDAY by Wanda E. Brunstetter Page A

all their worries would be put to rest.
    She cleared her throat. “Uh, Luke, I need to do some shopping today, and I was wondering—would it be okay if I buy some paint for the spare bedroom next to ours?”
    Luke’s eyebrows furrowed as he pulled his fingers through the ends of his thick blond hair—so blond it was nearly white. “Using our money for groceries is one thing, but paint will have to wait till I’m working full-time again.”
    Meredith clenched and unclenched her fingers.
What would he say if he knew that spare room I want to paint is for the baby I believe I’m carrying? Should I go ahead and tell him right now, or would it be better to wait?
“I know we have to be careful with our money,” she said, “but paint shouldn’t cost that much.”
    “It costs more than I want to spend right now.” Luke drank the rest of his apple juice and pushed away from the table. “Now, if we’re done with this discussion, I need to go out to the barn.”
    “But Luke, I really would like to paint that room because—”
    “I said no, Meredith,” Luke said firmly. “We can’t afford to do any painting right now. The spare room can stay like it is for the time being. There’s no need to paint anyways, since we’re only using it for storage. Until we get on our feet again, we should leave well enough alone.”
    “But Luke, if you knew—”
    “Mir sin immer am disch bediere iwwer eppes.”
He frowned. “And I’m gettin’ tired of it.”
    “It does seem like we’re always arguing about something,” she agreed, “and I don’t like it, either.”
    “Then let’s stop arguing and talk about something else.” Irritation edged Luke’s voice.
    “You can be so
eegesinnisch
sometimes,” she muttered, looking away.
    “I’m not being stubborn; I’m being practical. And as far as I’m concerned, this discussion is over!”
    Luke grabbed a dog biscuit and went out the back door, letting it slam behind him. Meredith flinched. It wasn’t right for them to be quarreling like this. It wasn’t good for their marriage, and if she was pregnant, it certainly wasn’t good for the baby. She would never have imagined that their lives could change so drastically in such a short time.
    Meredith jumped up, moving quickly to the kitchen window, watching through a film of tears as Luke tromped through the snow to fuss with his dog, Fritz, before going into the barn.
    She ran her fingers over the cold glass.
I wish Luke would communicate with me as easily as he does with his dog
.
    Sometimes Meredith wondered if it would be better for her to not even talk to Luke unless it was absolutely necessary. It was ridiculous to be thinking this way, especially since up until recently they’d always discussed things and made important decisions together. But wouldn’t it be less stressful to keep quiet than to quarrel with him all the time?
    A year ago, those thoughts would have never entered her mind. How was it that they were either behaving like total strangers or snapping at each other these days? When they were newly married, with their future spread out before them, Meredith had been full of hopes and dreams, and every day had been blissful. Now the discouraging job outlook was swallowing Luke up and affecting every aspect of their marriage.
    Despite it being a nice idea to spruce up the terribly drab spare bedroom, Luke was probably right about not spending the money on paint with their finances so tight. Paint wasn’t that expensive, but in Luke’s eyes, it may as well cost a million dollars. Even a few cans of paint were a luxury they really couldn’t afford. If the midwife confirmed Meredith’s suspicions, then maybe she could start moving some boxes up to the attic. That would need to be done anyway, before it became a baby’s room.
    She reached for the teapot simmering on the stove and poured some hot water over a tea bag in a cup. While it steeped, she cleared the breakfast dishes and ran water into the sink.