Grey Matters by Clea Simon

then made her own way back into the Yard. Dulcie couldn’t have said exactly why she didn’t want to walk with her new student, but she knew she needed the time alone. Even with all the leaves fallen, Harvard Yard was a beautiful place. This late in the afternoon, the buildings cast long shadows across the grass, the bare trees stark against a deepening blue sky. But the New England fall was winding up. A cold gust prompted Dulcie to turn up her collar and stirred the remaining leaves. Letting her feet wander, she watched one errant oak leaf as it flew into a corner, joining a small pile that had gathered between the steps and the bike rack by Emerson. The leaf – and the wind – settled, and Dulcie was startled to see the pile move. A squirrel, cheeks extended with bounty, popped out and she laughed out loud.
    So much for nature in the city! As much as she missed the quiet of the forest, Dulcie didn’t regret coming East. After years of Lucy’s hodge-podge spirituality, Dulcie found the businesslike hustle and bustle of Cambridge a welcome relief. Life made sense here. Physics had more weight than metaphysics. But sometimes she missed those little touches, the preparation of animals for winter. As she took a step toward the leaf pile, the wind picked up again, swirling the pile into a dust devil of browns and golds. And one bright touch of red. There! Was that a maple leaf? The swirling dust got into Dulcie’s eyes and she blinked, quick tears forming. Through the tears, she tried to focus, wanting to catch that one last touch of October’s brilliance. Just as quickly, Dulcie saw another flash, this time grey. But too big to be that squirrel. No, through her bleary eyes, it looked like a cat. A large grey longhair, diving on to the leaf pile as Mr Grey had so often done, for play as much as for prey. Dulcie wiped her hand across her eyes. Mr Grey? Could it be? But when she looked again, the vision was gone. The pile of leaves once more still.
    Was she seeing things or had Mr Grey appeared to her, once again, in a vision? Lack of sleep and way too much caffeine made the former more likely, Dulcie realized as she set off once again across the Yard and toward the apartment she shared with Suze. But as she walked, she saw another flash of red as bright as that leaf. No maple, though, this was a bright beret. A pretty thing, perched on a pale figure whom Dulcie recognized.
    ‘Hey, Polly!’ Dulcie waved at the familiar figure. ‘Wait up!’
    A wan face turned toward Dulcie and then turned away.
    ‘Polly!’ Holding her bag to keep it from slamming against her side, Dulcie trotted after the older woman. The assistant kept walking, face down, only that red cap marking her out in the dying light.
    ‘Polly!’ Dulcie caught up to her and put her hand on the other woman’s arm, pausing to catch her breath. ‘I guess you didn’t hear me.’
    ‘What? Oh, no.’ The older woman looked even more washed-out close up, the bright hat only accenting the lack of color in her lank blonde hair and the faded camel of her coat. ‘I guess I’m rather preoccupied.’ She forced a thin smile.
    ‘I don’t blame you.’ Dulcie smiled back. ‘But I’m glad to see you’re up and about.’
    Polly nodded and started to walk again, her long coat flapping against her legs. Dulcie struggled to keep up.
    ‘I wanted to touch base with you.’ Even from the side, Dulcie could see the look of pain that crossed the older woman’s already ashen face. ‘I’m sorry. I should’ve asked. How are you?’
    ‘I’m fine. Thank you.’ Polly looked over and Dulcie saw the deep rings around her eyes. ‘I mean, as well as can be expected.’
    Dulcie nodded. She’d been there, too. ‘I’m sorry you had to come back when you did.’
    ‘He needs me.’ Her answer was immediate and rather sharp, her thin lips compressing so that even the little bit of color in them drained away.
    ‘Of course.’ Dulcie was quick to reassure her. ‘But, well,