How Teddy Roosevelt Slew the Last Mighty T-Rex by Mark Paul Jacobs

him as Chahknu. He is chieftain of this tribe and ruler of this domain.”
    The stately native and one of his assistants stepped forward to the campfire’s rim. Roosevelt noticed that the other native warriors slowly merged back into the forest and out of sight but still well within earshot; although Roosevelt continued to feel their menacing presence. The Navaïté chieftain and his companion, along with Martin, sat on the ground, cross-legged.
    Paishon tossed a few logs onto the fire. Rondon caught Paishon’s eye and nodded. The burly camarada rushed off and returned a moment later bearing what appeared to Roosevelt to be a broken pulley from a block and tackle set. Colonel Rondon smiled widely, holding the useless item aloft like a precious ruby-studded crown. He handed the pulley to the wide-eyed chieftain, who accepted the gift amid nods of less than sincere concurrence from his amenable underling.
    Roosevelt and Rondon were joined at the fire by Kermit, Cherrie, and Lyra.
    Rondon waved toward Paishon. “Paishon, o brigado , stay and translate for us, sim .”
    “Following our departure,” Martin began, “Julio and me instantly deciphered the direction of the native’s recent migration. Clearly they had moved downstream just before the onset of the rainy season. Chahknu informed me that the river’s water level dictates their movements during most years. They migrate to land less susceptible to flooding and where crops can be cultivated and fish can be trapped. Traditionally, the land just south and west of these rapids is one such area they frequent during these times.
    “We slogged through the woods northward following the river for a day and a half, finally reaching the village at sundown, two days past. What I found there disturbed me greatly. Warriors danced and whooped around blazing fires with their faces painted red and colored in black soot in the unmistakable manner of impending warfare. Chahknu greeted me warmly and informed me that oddly-garbed strangers had trespassed upon their land by way of the river and were now struggling past the rapids due to their ill-advised choice of burdensome and bulky dugouts. The chieftain was infuriated that the visitors had not announced their arrival, nor did they present any offerings or show any sign of respect whatsoever. As a footnote to this story, Julio and I had stripped naked before entering the village to avoid suspicion.
    “Chahknu told me that his warriors had been observing the expedition for an entire day with great stealth, fading in and out of the forest or behind huge boulders as they had been trained since childhood. When the warriors returned to the village and reported to Chahknu, he issued orders to eliminate the invaders under the cover of night when he deemed them most vulnerable. Chahknu told me the warriors openly mocked the intruders for their apparent lack of skill in protecting themselves against outside attack in such a hostile land.”
    Teddy Roosevelt shuddered. He glanced first to Kermit and then to the expressionless Rondon.
    “I pleaded my case to the chieftain, explaining my involvement and alliance with the invaders and even offered up a plausible explanation: the required gift was merely an oversight and would be immediately rectified upon visiting the invaders’ campsite and speaking to their leaders.”
    Colonel Rondon looked at Chahknu and smiled graciously. He pointed at the broken pulley despite the obvious fact that the chieftain hadn’t understood a single word Martin had just spoken. Unsmiling, the pair of natives raised their noses and nodded.
      Chahknu uttered a few sentences in his native tongue and Lieutenant Martin translated: “The chief Chahknu offers his gratitude and is satisfied with the offering. He has decided to let us live, under the simple stipulation that we pass through his lands promptly and without deviating from our course.”
    Following a series of tepid and diplomatic nods from around the