How to Marry an Alien by Magan Vernon

from doing the boom-boom? Maybe we
should have some sort of code like putting a sock on the door, so
the other one doesn't walk in and boom-boom block."
    "Uh, yeah, sure that will work." Did she
think Ace and I would be having a lot of sex? Or maybe that was
what she and Riley did.
    "But anyway." Lucy stepped off the bed,
grabbing her knit purse from the floor. "I need to get to class. I
may go over to Riley's or we may come here afterward. Put a sock on
the door if you don't want me to come in."
    "Alright," I said, waving to her before she
stepped out the door. I knew full well that I wouldn't be making
use of the sock that night, especially when I really needed a
shower and a speech topic.
     
***
     
    I wanted to see Ace. I could have seen him.
There was no reason he couldn't just beam into my room and hang
out, but I didn't want him to. When I was in high school, he would
sometimes come over at night while I did homework, but that wasn't
fun for either of us. Usually he would sit on my bed while my cat
hissed at him, or just distract me from what I was supposed to be
doing. It was still a wonder to me how I managed to be
valedictorian with a beautiful alien distraction lying on my bed
every night.
    "Informational speech topic, I can do this."
I sat at my desk, staring at the blank internet search browser. It
couldn't be that hard to come up with something to inform people
about, and then spew on about it for five to seven minutes.
    I typed in 'informational speech topics,'
just to get an idea of something I could write about. Nothing
looked interesting and some of the stuff I had no idea why anyone
would want to write about, like the differences in human and animal
feces. I'd been working for over an hour and I didn't even have a
topic, let alone an outline.
    "Maybe a break for dinner will help," I said
to no one in particular. I grabbed my lanyard with my key and
student ID attached and headed to the dining hall. I'd been on
campus less than a week and I knew there were a ton of different
places to eat and even a Starbucks, but I always ended up just
getting the all-you-can eat meals from the dining hall. One could
call it laziness, or I would call it waiting until the perfect
moment to try something at the student union. Yeah, it was probably
laziness, and fear that I would walk across campus and the
restaurant would be closed for the summer. I also worried that I'd
run into yet another alien that would recognize me as the future
princess of Calta.
    I took a tray from the entrance and perused
the different options. There was a large salad bar, ice cream
station, pizza, and even a wok. I didn't think the mall back home
even had as many options. I settled for an already made sandwich
and a fountain drink, swiped my card, and looked around for an
empty table. Maybe some people watching would help me think of a
topic for my speech.
    "Hey, Alex, over here!"
    I didn't know anyone on campus, or so I
thought. I turned to the sound of the voice and saw Riley smiling
in a corner booth and waving her arms back and forth in the air.
Ugh, the last person I wanted to see.
    I put on a fake smile and walked over to her
table. "Hey, Riley."
    She put her hands down and picked up the fork
next to her half-eaten salad. "Why don't you come join me? There is
no reason to eat alone and Lucy shouldn't get too jealous."
    I winced. I just wanted to eat alone and come
up with a topic for my paper. Not sit across from a girl who didn't
remember me, but I sure did remember her. I couldn't forget the way
she treated me, like I was no better than the gum on her shoe, and
was disgusted with me and Ace's relationship.
    Part of me wondered if she knew she was a
lesbian at Circe. Maybe that was why she hated other relationships
that were so out of the norm. Maybe she was never accepted. It
still didn't excuse her from pointing a gun to my head. Thank God
Jen was there to save me.
    "I guess I can sit here for a little bit. I
was just trying to think of a