How to Raise a Jewish Dog by Rabbis of Boca Raton Theological Seminary, Barbara Davilman Page A

like it before abandoning it forever.
    Not only that, but it’s also very common for a dog to ignore a pet toy expressly designed for him in favor of one of your
     shoes, a sock, a stuffed animal, a discarded Barbie doll, an old towel, or any other object in the home.
    That’s why, when clients ask us which toys they should purchase for their dogs, we generally advise buying one of every toy
     in the pet store, plus one of everything available online, and letting the dog figure it out. In so doing you’ll have satisfied
     all six categories illustrated in the Six-Pointed Mogen David Star of Pampering
and
you’ll have a great story to tell friends and family about how enslaved you are to the (ungrateful) dog.

    Dog playing with owner’s slipper and ignoring high- quality dog toys. Typical.
    Case History: Matilda
    BY RABBI ALAN
    The only time our training method actually ever failed was with Matilda. This dog was the most beautiful Afghan you had ever
     seen. She was just breathtaking. Talk about “pampering”—people stopped this dog and her owner all the time to marvel at her
     exquisiteness. We spent a total of six months with Matilda and her owner and were unable to change the dog’s behavior in the
     slightest.
    Quite concerned—not to mention puzzled and intrigued—we did something we’d never done before. We called in someone I’ll refer
     to as “Gretchen.” Gretchen is a pet psychic. Now, we don’t normally employ such people, nor do we typically recommend it for
     our clients. But we were all at our wits’ end. So Gretchen arrived and, in strict one-on-one isolation with the dog, had a
     session with Matilda.
    After an hour Gretchen brought us the bittersweet news that Matilda was impossible to train because
she had absolutely no thoughts
. She had no mental life because she didn’t need one. She was
that
beautiful. Matilda got all her physical and emotional requirements just by existing, by being herself. People gave her things
     and praised her and indulged her and so on, all in the hope that Matilda would acknowledge them with the slightest wag of
     her elegant tail. In this one rare case all we could do was to help Matilda’s owner come to terms with having a thought-free
     dog by helping her to regard Matilda as a special-needs pet and to readjust her expectations accordingly. That, thank God,
     worked, and now Matilda and her owner are living happily ever after in Sedona, Arizona.
STANDARD DOG EQUIPMENT
    So far we’ve talked about the “fun stuff.” Now let’s look at the necessities for owning any kind of dog, and whether or not
     they’re appropriate for raising a Jewish dog.
Collars
    Every dog needs a collar, and with the huge selection of materials, colors, and styles available for dogs of every possible
     size, it is easy to find one that’s right for a dog being raised Jewish.
    But why stop there? Even the most squat-necked pug is able to wear two or three or more collars at once. Collars are for more
     than just attaching to leashes and holding licenses and rabies and identification tags. They’re jewelry for dogs! Think of
     them as being like wrist bangles: if two is good, four is better.
    In fact, who is to say that you can’t find, in a small size, a collar to wear on your wrist that matches your dog’s? Not us.
     We say let’s have fun with collars!
Choke Chains
    Also called “slip collars,” these are metal link collars that you slip through a hole in itself like some kind of magic trick,
     creating a slipknot that gently strangles the dog when it tries to pull away. While choke chains do superficially resemble
     silver necklaces, they’re too frightening and mechanical for Jewish dogs to wear or for Jewish owners to figure out how to
     work. Forget them.
Leashes and Lines
    Leashes, like collars, can be of leather or nylon. They don’t actually
have
to match the collar, but it would be nice. Also, they should reflect the season. No leather in the summer, and