Imitation of Love by Sally Quilford

me
again, Catherine. I don’t believe in hitting women, but I also believe it cuts
both ways. A lady should never strike a man either.”
     
    “I hate you!”
     
    “Really?” At that he pulled her into his
arms and kissed her. She wanted to pull away. She should have stopped him, but
being in his arms and feeling his mouth on hers was everything she’d ever
wanted. She let herself fall into the kiss, forgetting propriety and that she
was supposed to hate him. Just as quickly as he’d grabbed her, he set her away
from him. “I apologise,” he said. “I shouldn’t have done that.”
     
    “Xander…” she whispered softly.
     
    “I’ll speak to the young men who
approached me, and let you know their names. I trust you’ll take at least one
of the offers seriously.”
     
    “You want me to marry someone else? After
that kiss?”
     
    “I think the sooner you’re married the
better.”
     
    “Yes,” said Catherine, struggling to
restrain her temper. “You’re right. I’m a danger to myself if I allow one to kiss
convince me a man cares for me. Since you’re obviously so wise and all-knowing,
why don’t you choose my husband from the likely contenders? I’ll abide by your
decision. Just tell me where to be on my wedding day.” She was gratified to see
that he looked as shocked as if she had slapped him.
     
    ***
     
    Catherine had never felt so homesick.
She’d just about convinced herself that Willoughby Manor wasn’t her home
anymore. But the morning after the ball, after a sleepless and distressful
night, she wished she was there, in her old room overlooking the park.  They’d
had nothing, but it made life much less complicated.
     
    She had some money left over from the
funds Mr. Oakley had given her for the dressmaker, having only bought what was
necessary, despite his insistence she bought an entire wardrobe. She guessed
that like most men he wouldn’t really notice what she wore, or whether she was
seen in the same dress twice. It was the sort of thing only other women
noticed. He could probably get his money back for most of them. She’d have no
need for such gowns in the country.
     
    The question was whether Cousin George
would be willing to take her in. She would have to throw herself at his mercy
and make him see that he couldn’t abandon her. Anything would be better than Mr.
Oakley choosing a husband for her, and having to spend her life with a man she
could never love as she loved him.
     
    She thought of writing to Cousin George
first, but decided it might have more impact if she just turned up on the
doorstep. As it was early, and the ball had finished extremely late, everyone
else in the house had slept in. If Catherine were to escape Aunt Harriet, she
would have to be quick. She dressed in a dark blue travelling coat, and put on
a matching bonnet. She wrote a quick note to Alyssa, and with just a few things
in a bag, she left the house long before Kitty was meant to wake her.
     
    London in the morning was fascinating to
see, before all the hustle and bustle began. Apart from some young urchins out
and about, there were few people around. She began to wish she could spend more
time in the Capital. She and Alyssa had meant to be going sightseeing with Aunt
Harriet. She felt a pang as she thought of how she’d left Alyssa. But her
sister’s happiness was assured. Catherine had no doubt that the love Alyssa and
Harrington shared was going to last beyond the Season. Whilst Alyssa had been
surrounded by doting young men the night before, her eyes had scoured the room
for Harrington. She looked apprehensive until she found him in the crowd and
her frown quickly turned into a smile.
     
    As far as Catherine was concerned, she
had done her best for her sister. She could do no more. If she did feel a pang of
guilt at leaving Alyssa, the memory of Xander’s kiss and his cruel words afterwards
spurred her on through the early morning streets.  Had her mind not been in
such turmoil,