Kiss Me Like You Mean It by Dr. David Clarke Page B

defines a kiss. You are sadly, tragically mistaken.
    As you reach the point of impact, your lover and precious partner suddenly turns and offers you a cheek. A cheek! How impersonal! How insensitive! How rude! Lips to lips has a chance of generating some romance and a stirring of emotions. Lips to cheek is barely above a handshake on the scale of affection. If you are outraged—or, at least, deeply disappointed—at being forced to kiss your spouse’s cheek, you’re not that far gone. But if either of you is okay with cheek kissing, you are not in good romantic shape. You need help. That’s where I come in.

You Are Romance Challenged
    If you are guilty of regularly engaging in one or more of these kisses, you have almost certainly kissed romance goodbye. While “The Kissing Test” is a very accurate diagnostic tool, there are three other central mistakes made by romancechallenged couples. See if you can spot these mistakes in the following description of one week in the life of an unromantic couple.
    Bob and Betty’s Week of No Romance
    It’s Monday morning, and the alarm goes off. Another week has begun. Bob and Betty roll out of bed and mumble “Morning” to each other. They go through their usual weekday morning routine: individual devotions, wake up the kids, grab some breakfast, and go their separate ways. They engage in a lightning quick Peck of a kiss just before parting.
    During the day, they have a few brief phone calls. Only routine, mundane matters are discussed: how their days are going, don’t forget to pick up Susie from school, please get milk and bread from the store, and I think I’m developing a cold sore.
    The evening goes pretty much like all their evenings. Helping the kids with homework, having dinner, playing with the kids, some time on the phone and computer, and the kids going to bed. Bob watching television and Betty reading a novel and having a few phone conversations with friends. They have a five-minute dialogue in the kitchen about needed home repairs and a school event coming up in four days.
    At the end of the evening, they watch the news on television. Even though they are sitting together on the couch, there is no touching. They briefly discuss one of the news stories. After they get in bed, Bob kisses Betty on her cheek, and they both mumble, “Good night.”
    The next few days are exact copies of this day. Bob and Betty’s morning, daytime, and evening routines remain the same. Bob watches some television shows that feature scantily clad women and steamy sex scenes. He knows it’s wrong, but he’s drawn to these shows because of the feeling they give him. He’s also spending more time secretly staring at certain attractive women at work. He is talking more with one of these women. Of course, they are “just good friends,” he tells himself.
    Betty loses herself in her romance novels. She enjoys the fictional stories of men and women falling in love and doing all kinds of romantic things together. These stories stir her heart and make her feel more alive. She longs for this kind of heart-thumping, romantic feeling with Bob. But those days are over. He’s just not that kind of guy. Plus, she has come to accept that romantic pursuit and passion are just not part of a real-life marriage.
    On Friday night, both the kids have sleepovers at the homes of friends. Do Bob and Betty use the extra time and freedom to go out on a romantic date? No. Do they have a candlelight dinner at home? No. Do they engage in some serious kissing? No. Do they watch a romantic movie together at home? No. Do they at least seize this sudden golden opportunity to make love? Yes, they do. But, it’s more “make sex” than “make love.”
    Even though they have plenty of time, Bob and Betty stick to their tried-and-true, it’s-worked-for-years foreplay and intercourse routine. They kiss and touch the same way they always do. It’s not about expressing love and feeling passion.
    On Saturday night,