Life Is a Serious Business by Anne Butler Page B

children.
    Who are these
They
?
    I decided to confront this once and for all
    and consult the nine- year- old.
    He was having a shower at the time.
    I knocked on the bathroom door and said,
    â€œMay I come in?”
    â€œCertainly, Mum” came the reply,
    I entered and said,
    â€œIf I ask you a question will you answer me honestly?”
    â€œOf course, Mum” as his face appeared from
    behind the shower curtain.
    â€œDo you feel deprived because I am not at home?”
    He said, most innocently,
    â€œGosh Mum, why ever would you think that?”
    Then he disappeared just as quickly.
    Did I detect a little chuckle or was it the creaking shower?
    Why did I feel that was the wrong answer?
    Maybe, these
They
that say we should,
    know something I don’t,
    Or maybe it’s time to replace the creaking shower,
    I always knew it was suspect.

R ASCAL
    We had a new arrival in our household today,
    Of the canine variety-four legs and a tail.
    It was a democratic decision.
    I was all of a tizzy.
    Should I clean up the house?
    Tidy the wardrobe or dust in the corners?
    What would she think of us?
    Would she approve?
    When we went to collect her
    She was very polite.
    We received our instructions
    And listened intently to every word.
    We returned home all excited,
    I think she really liked us and felt right at home.
    The first thing she did
    Was leave her card on my mat

B EAVER I
    I am a Beaver leader in the Catholic Boy Scouts of Ireland.
    Surprised? Don’t be,
    They’re not really fussy who they admit anymore.
    How did it all begin?
    Well, when my son was six,
    I thought it would be character building
    For him to join an organisation of fun
    And games and great outdoors.
    But like a great many things in life
    You have to do them yourself.
    So that’s what we did,
    Three other mums and me.
    Now people say “Aren’t you wonderful!”
    But I’m quite selfish really,
    Where else could I play games,
    Talk to my peers and eat the kind of food
    My mother wouldn’t let me?

B EAVER 2
    One thing I can say with absolute certainty,
    Is that the uniform for the CBSI
    Was not designed by Jacob Schlaepfer.
    For the uninitiated, Jacob Schlaepfer is a design partner of
    Yves Saint Laurent, La Croix and Prada.
    Now its fine for the Beavers, Cubs and Scouts and
    Even Venturers
    They have youth on their side.
    But we more discerning ladies, who look stunningly casual,
    Occasionally require a little assistance,
    To accentuate our more attractive attributes.
    I’ve tried everything
    Shoulder pads, alternative neck attire,
    But to no avail.
    Please Catholic Boy Scouts of Ireland,
    Venture a little capital
    And keep abreast of the changing times.

B EAVER 3
    Sunny, summers evening,
    Taking the Beavers for a walk down Greenlea Road.
    It has been one of those days
    When some little thing has been sent to try you.
    Do you have days like that too? Really?
    I mutter to myself “Not my baggage!”
    When a little voice says:
    â€œMay I carry that for you Miss?”
    And I realise I am carrying the First Aid case.
    I try to explain it is not that type of baggage,
    More like a hang up.
    He looks at me, most perplexed.
    â€œDo you know what a hang up is?” I ask.
    â€œNo” he says,
    His beautiful brown eyes mirroring his reply.
    â€œHow old are you?” I ask.
    â€œSix” he replies.
    Gosh I could have hugged him,
    Only sadly I’m not allowed.
    Sometimes I wish I were six.

F AMINE OR FEAST
    What is it in our state
    That makes us over calculate?
    Is it a throwback to famine days of yore,
    When scarcity and want were all the score?
    When I am peeling potatoes you see,
    I always allow an extra two or three,
    In case of an unexpected guest,
    Or the children might surprise us yet.
    I don’t have this problem with the humble crisp,
    There never seems to be enough or it.
    This is not a matter I will have to ponder,
    If the recession goes on much longer.

T HE GENERATION