Lionel Asbo: State of England by Martin Amis

thing everyone knew, Gina had homed in on Lionel Asbo.
    Now what? A faithful reader of Dear Daphne and other forums, Des prepared himself for the expected benefits. How would Daphne put it? Although your uncle is obviously a late developer, there should presently be a steady easing of tension as he adopts a more … It wasn’t like that. No, Daphne, it isn’t like that , he muttered (Des often had these dialogues with Daphne, in the hours between waking and rising).
    He’s more nerve-racking than ever! He comes on all cool and masterful, but his hands tremble and his eyes are all over the place. I don’t understand Gina either. Indoors, she treats him like he isn’t there, and they never touch or kiss or smile. But on the street she’s all over him. I saw them once on a bench outside the Hobgoblin. Gina was up on his lap, straddling his thighs in her catsuit and tutu! What’s her game? Personally speaking, mind, it has to be said that I …
    It had to be said, personally speaking, that Des was riveted by Gina. Always in the highest good humour, she was a dark mass of roundnesses with vivid eyes and silky cheeks (her colouring further beautified, somehow, by the pale traces of adolescent acne on the hinges of her jaw). At any moment she’d jump to her feet and do a whole scene from (say) a Sicilian operetta, with all the choruses, the voices, the dances … Lionel watched these displays with an expression Des had never seen before. A false smile, and a remarkably talentless false smile: he simply hooked his upper lip over his front teeth, and that was that (Lionel’s front teeth were white and square, but so broadly spaced that you thought of a cut-out pumpkin on Halloween). She never spent the night. They went off to her maisonette in Doyce Grove. For Gina wasn’t just Miss Diston; she was also Lady Town – the favourite daughter of the controversial coin-op king and used-car czar, Jayden Drago.
    Gina passed many an hour helping Des with his Italian, his Spanish, and his French (and she knew Basque too – and even Mallorquin!). So Daphne, what do you think? Why would a girl who can speak six languages go around with a bloke who can barely speak English? Plus she’s a famous sexpot – and he’s almost a virgin! What’s Jezebel doing with Joseph? What’s the princess see in the frog? What’s Gina’s game?
    One half-term morning in the chill fall of 2008 he looked in on Gran and found her frowning over the Daily Telegraph with a biro in her hand. He said encouragingly, Back on the crosswords, are we?
    There was a silence, and without looking up she said, One clue. For a week I’ve been staring at it. One clue .
    … But Gran, some are more difficult than others. You always said. Depends on the setters. They vary .
    She handed it over. And the crossword, it wasn’t the Cryptic – it was the Kwik! The single clue that Grace had solved, or at least filled in, was 22 down. It went, Garden of – – – – (4) . And in the bottom right-hand corner of the grid she had written, ENED .
    And even that’s not quite right, is it .
    No, not quite .
    … So I’m going daft now am I?
    Their eyes met.
    Des. What happens when I don’t know what I’m saying?
    It’ll pass, Gran .
    … I won’t be able to open my eyes. I won’t be able to close my mouth .
    No, Gran. The other way round .
    And he felt he was preparing for a long voyage on a dark sea where, one by one, all the stars would be going out.
    Why was Gina Drago seeing Lionel Asbo? Because she wanted to spite and goad – and thus reactivate – Marlon Welkway. Des tried always to be elsewhere; but anyone could tell how it was shaping. Gina’s pink cellphone, with its lip-prints and snowdrop spangles, took on terrible powers: every chirrup had the rousting force of a siren. She would answer it, saying, Well you should’ve thought of that , or Eff off , or, simply, Fuera ! But sometimes she would get to her feet and laughingly leave the room with the