Louise Rennison_Georgia Nicolson 05 by Away Laughing on a Fast Camel Page B

me.
    â€œLook, Ginger, nice.”
    She had what I think was probably once a biscuit in one hand and Gordy by the neck in the other. She put him on my bed and he started attacking my knees under the bedclothes.
    midnight
    Mum made me a milky pops drink like she did when I was little and ill. Which was nice. Except that I put it down on my bedside table and Gordy plunged his head in it. He has been having a sneezing attack for about ten minutes.

snog factor 25 and a half
    monday april 11th
    school
    Hot news straight off the press. The Stiff Dylans have got a new lead singer to replace the Sex God. Ellen was full of it in the loos. We were all holed up there at break. If any storm troopers come in we have to stand on the loo seat so they can’t see our feet. The trick is to leave the door a bit open and stand right to the other edge of the loo seat, so the cubicle looks empty. We are clearly geniuses, because it works.
    Anyway, Ellen said, “He’s half Italian and half American and he’s called Masimo.”
    Jools said, “I’m going to learn how to speak American immediately.”
    â€œMabs reckons he’s dishy and fit as a flea.”
    â€œAngela Richards saw him arrive at the Phoenix. She lives just across from it and she said he turned up on one of those really cool Italian scooters.”
    11:00 a.m.
    I listened to their girlish chatter with great sadnosity. It was alright for them; they could just replace one lead singer with another. They did not know the heartbreak I had gone through because the Sex God had chosen wombats and rogue bores instead of me.
    Jools said, “Angela said he is the coolest, fittest-looking boy she has ever seen. When he drew up and was parking his scooter this group of girls sort of gathered around just looking. Ogling him. He said ‘ciao’ to them.”
    I said, “How is he going to be able to be in the band if he can’t speak English?”
    Ellen said, “He can speak English, he’s half American.”
    I said, “Oh yeah, and that’s the same, is it? I’ll just say this…Americans don’t know who Rolf Harris is, and they call knickers panties. That is not really speaking English, is it?”
    Rosie said, “Yeah, you’ve got a point, Geegee, but perhaps in the spirit of neighborliness and red-bottomosity we could help him to speak properly.”
    Hmmm.
    swimming
    Herr Kamyer was “in charge” this arvie because Miss Stamp is doing some certificate or another.
    I said, “It’s probably in advanced lesbianism.”
    It probably is, actually.
    in the pool
    I swam under Jas’s legs and she squealed like a girl because I surprised her.
    She was very grumpy because in her panic she had got her fringe wet.
    My crawl style is quite stylish I think. Unlike Nauseating P. Green’s style. She really is a fiasco waiting to happen. She wears armbands and she still sinks without a trace every few minutes.
    Â 
    Anyway, the funniest bit for me was when Herr Kamyer entered stage left. He came out in his swimming knickers and we all went “Whoaar,” which made him have such a dither attack that he stepped off into the deep end by mistake. Without removing his glasses. He spent about a million years diving down to look for them. Herr Kamyer is the palest man known to humanity. His legs and arms are like a stick insect. He does a very amusingbreaststroke (in my opinion), like a cross between a human being and a twit, with just a touch of blind beaver. I could watch him for ages.
    We were all having splashy fun when the fire alarm went off. Oh merde , now what? It can’t be a real fire, and even if it is, wouldn’t we be better off staying in forty-five million gallons of water, like where we are now?
    Â 
    But oh no, that would be too simple. The lifeguard is Mr. Attwood. He came perving along with a whistle and started yelling at us to get out of the water and go to our mustering