Louise Rennison_Georgia Nicolson 05 by Away Laughing on a Fast Camel

dropping off from redness and I hadn’t any lip gloss on because I had given up on boys.
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    I crossed the road and walked past him. I treated him with total glaciosity. He said, “Come on, Georgia, talk to me.”
    â€œWhat can you possibly have to say to me?”
    I walked on. At least I haven’t got ginger hair. Although with my luck, I probably have hair that is sticking out at right angles after my galloping fiasco. As usual, though, Dave kept on. He tends to ignore me ignoring him, which is annoying. He put his arm through mine.
    â€œGeorgia, look at me, come on, Sex Kitty, don’t get the megahump. We weren’t going out officially,were we? You couldn’t make your mind up, then I met Rachel and she was keen…well, she is after all only human…”
    I looked at him with a “don’t even bother” look. He smiled.
    â€œCan’t we be friends? We’ve always had a laugh together.”
    I felt my heart melting. He was right really, we hadn’t been officially a couple, and he was a laugh to have around. I found myself going for a coffee with him and telling him all about Mark Big Gob. Dave the Laugh said, “He really is an enormous twit of the first water.”
    It sort of made it better when he said it. I know that Rosie had said the same, but it seemed different when a boy-type person said it. As we left the coffee bar and walked along arm in arm, he stopped and took my chin in his hand. (I don’t mean he snapped it off my face and held it.) He just sort of lifted my face up to his and gave me a little kiss really gently on the lips. I could feel the jelloid knees coming on. Damn!
    As I walked off, he called back to me, “Don’t worry about Mark Big Gob. I’ll have a word.”
    home
    Oh joy unbounded, Cousin James is coming to stay overnight. I said to Mutti, “Why?”
    And she said, “He’s family.”
    I said reasonably, “Mutti, what does that mean—does it mean that if Hitler was my cousin we would have to have him around?”
    She got all parenty. “Now you are being ridiculous. Go and do your homework. Oh, and don’t have a bath—Gordy has done a cat poo in there. I’ll have to clean it up.”
    Gordy has done a cat poo in the bath??!! Why would he scramble all the way up the sides of the bath just to do a poo, when he has his own personal cat poo tray in the outhouse? Anyway, how could he get up the sides of the bath? Either Libby gave him a leg up, or Angus helped him. I bet it was Angus. When I went into my bedroom Angus was curled up on my cardigan cleaning himself. I wish he wouldn’t do botty grooming on my things. I said to him, “You are quite literally a crap dad, Angus. You wait until Gordy starts staying out all night creating mayhem; you’ll be sorry.”
    Angus fell into a light doze as I was telling himoff. Anyway, why would he be worried about Gordy staying out all night creating mayhem? That’s what he does himself. It’s his job.
    9:00 p.m.
    Doorbell rang.
    No one answered it, of course. Mum and Libby (and I think from the yowling, Angus and Gordy) are all in the bath. I don’t know how they can bear to go in there. I personally will never be having another bath in this lifetime, not even if Mum has cleaned it with nitroglycerin.
    Ring, ring on the bell.
    9:10 p.m.
    I shouted out.
    â€œDon’t worry, I’ll get it, I’ve only got exams in two weeks, but you just lie around and relax.”
    Tramp tramp.
    If I get all the way down and it’s Cousin James and I have to speak to him I will have a nervy spaz.
    9:11 p.m.
    I opened the door and it was Mark Big Gob. Crikey.He looked a bit shifty and nervous.
    â€œGeorgia, I’ve got something to say about the other night.”
    He wasn’t going to have another attempt at storming my nunga-nunga holders, was he?
    I said warily, “Oh yes, what is it?”
    â€œWell,