Loving by Karen Kingsbury Page A

control?”
    “Not yet.” He caught her hand in his and ran his thumb along her fingers. “They know I’m serious. They’re postponing the announcement.”
    “Hmmm.” Bailey wasn’t sure why she asked. As if the contract could make a difference at this point. Whether Brandon had control or not, the deal would require Brandon to stay here for the next five years, maybe longer. She held her breath.
God, help me say the right thing … please
. “Brandon … I need to tell you something.”
    “This is it, then … the thing you wanted to tell me?” The anger from earlier was gone entirely. Instead Brandon looked sad.
    So sad Bailey wanted to cry.
    She swallowed her fear and hurt and doubt and tried to explain herself. “The Christian Kids Theater back home needs adirector for the spring show.” She paused, but not for long. If she didn’t say everything now, she might never say it. “I can’t be here, Brandon.” She took both his hands in hers and leaned close to him, desperate for his understanding. “I’m not doing the movie — you know that much. And there’s nothing else on my schedule. Besides, you’re leaving in a few weeks for Montana, right?” It was something she hadn’t considered before now. The fact that maybe this would be a great time to spend a few months in Bloomington since he’d be gone, anyway.
    “I am.” Brandon looked paler than before. “So you’re saying … you want to go back to Bloomington?”
    “Maybe.” Her answer was a painfully quiet whisper. “If I’m going to do this, I should leave Monday. Auditions for CKT are Tuesday.”
    Brandon pulled his hands free and stood, staring at her. He hadn’t expected this, his shock proved that. “You would really do that? Leave on Monday?”
    “Maybe. For now. Just while you’re gone and until the play wraps up in a few months.” She stood. “It’s something I can do, directing CKT.” She tried to take hold of his arm, but he avoided her. “Brandon … please. Try to understand.” She waved her hand toward the ocean. “Running every day from the paparazzi and not having a life of my own. I can’t live like this.”
    “You have a life here if you want one.” He exhaled and his shoulders dropped a notch. He crossed his arms, still not willing to be close to her. “It’s up to you. If you want to teach, you can teach here. If you’re looking for a better movie, you can find it here.” His tone filled with passion again. “Have you thought of that?”
    He had a point. “You’re right. If I want a life here, I can find it.” She tried once more to put her hand on his shoulder, and this time he let her. “But I need to think about it, and I’ll do that better back there. I don’t want this craziness. Seeing my face in thetabloids every time I buy milk, running from paparazzi. It’s not me.” She couldn’t stop now, not when the truth was knocking at the backside of her teeth trying to get out. “Honestly, Brandon …” her voice fell. “It might never be me.”
    Another level of understanding seemed to dawn on him. “Baby, we can figure it out. Don’t decide everything right now.” Tears filled his eyes, but he didn’t blink, didn’t look away. “I can’t stand the thought of being away from you.”
    “Brandon …” This was killing her. She hated seeing him so upset.
    He linked his hands at the back of his neck and looked down. When he lifted his face, a few tears slipped onto his cheeks. “We can’t be long distance indefinitely. You move away and then what?” He lifted his eyes to hers, and the hurt there was more than she could take. “What happens to us if our homes are thousands of miles apart?”
    Bailey hadn’t thought about it that way. But if she was going home with no intention of coming back, he was right. Where did that leave them? She couldn’t finish the thought. She only wanted to take him in her arms and reassure him. She felt breathless. “We’ll figure something