Silent Star by Tracie Peterson

“I’m not going.”
    Estella nodded. She knew it would be that way, but she’d hoped she might convince him otherwise. She’d even thought of playing on his sympathy, mentioning that it was a long cold walk to church and how she could use his company, but she refrained. “Well, I just wanted to try. I guess I’ll head on over. I promised I’d help get things ready if I had time.”
    She moved toward the door, praying Andy would change his mind. I just want him to see that he’s really loved, Lord. I just want him to know that you are there for him, that you’ve never left him.
    “Thanks for the food,” Andy said, coming up behind her. “I wish you could stay and share it.”
    Estella put on a smile and turned to him. “Not tonight, but how about tomorrow—for Christmas? Why don’t you come to my house and we’ll share the day and maybe even find a game to play. I used to play a fair game of dominoes.”
    Andy looked at the floor. “It’d be nice not to be alone tomorrow.”
    She hated the dejection in his voice. No doubt he was thinking about his parents. This would be his first Christmas without his mom. Her first without her mom too. It wouldn’t be easy for either one of them. Reining in her emotions, Estella replied, “Good. Then I’ll see you in the morning.”
    Estella left feeling at least a small amount of satisfaction in having secured his agreement to come for Christmas. She didn’t want to admit it, but the thought of facing Christmas alone was more than she cared to deal with. There had always been someone before . . . her parents, Howard. Last year she had strung popcorn with her mother while they listened to Christmas carols on the radio. Despite the seemingly endless war there had been hope and joy and a certainty that God would soon bring the war to an end. They had prayed for just such a thing, and yet still the war raged.
    She and her mother talked long into the night, sharing memories of days gone by. They spoke of the Great War, the war that was to end all wars. Sadly it had failed, and yet Estella’s mother wasn’t at all surprised.
    “War will only end when Jesus puts an end to it,” she said. Estella realized the truth of it and agreed.
    Even now, the memories warmed Estella as she made her way in the cold night. She’d always had such a pleasant time fixing up the Christmas tree with her mother. This year, short of baking with Mary Beth, Estella really hadn’t done anything to get into the spirit of Christmas.
    I’m sorry, Lord. Here it is your birthday and I’ve not even prepared.
    She thought of the service to come that night and wished fervently that Andy had come with her. The poor man felt he had to hide away like some abominable monster. It wasn’t fair.
    I know he feels rejected, Lord. I know he feels that the entire town of Haven has turned its back on him. I know in many ways they’ve killed his spirit. . . .
    She looked up to the starry sky overhead. “That’s it, isn’t it?” Glancing at her watch, she made a decision. There was still time—if she hurried.
    ****
    The little church had already started to fill up when Estella arrived. The organist played a soft medley of Christmas songs, and the music spilled out across the sanctuary as an embrace against the cold and hopelessness. Estella pulled off her scarf and glanced around, trying to decide where she would sit. Mary Beth quickly came to her side.
    Hugging Estella, Mary Beth looked past her shoulder. “Is Andy coming?”
    “No. He felt it would make everyone feel uncomfortable,” Estella said sadly.
    “I wish he were here. He wouldn’t make me uncomfortable.”
    “I know,” Estella answered, hugging the girl again.
    “Can we sit together? Mama and Poppy are sitting over there with Kay and my sisters, but I’d like to sit with you too.”
    “It’s good to see your mother here. Is she feeling better?”
    “I don’t know that she’s feeling any more hope about Sammy’s chances, but