Maybe Never by Nia Forrester

would touch her if she was anywhere within arm’s length. Riley had no idea how lucky she was.
    “Well, leave the kids with your mother and go on a long weekend or something.”
    “First of all, Lorna would lose her mind being left with two kids under three years old on her own, and even if that wasn’t the case, I’m not sure I could pull that off just yet. I’d be miserable without them nearby. And I think Shawn would too. Last time he had to go out of town was when Cass was a couple weeks old and he asked whether I thought we should all go with him .
    “Maybe we’ll do that when Cass is a little older. For now we’ll stay put and probably do the nanny thing. Anyway, enough about me. You were about to tell me something graphic and nasty about your and Brendan’s sex life.”
    “He put the ring on my finger while he was going down on me,” Tracy said, spilling the words out in a rush.
    Riley spluttered. “ Excuse me?”
    Tracy nodded. “That was how he did it. He didn’t actually say the words, will you marry me . But he was on bended knee at least . . .”
    Then they were both laughing, and continued until tears were spilling out of the corners of Tracy’s eyes.
    “Well . . .” Riley finally managed, still struggling not to laugh. “Brendan always was . . . original.”
    “It was a Brendan kind of thing to do,” Tracy acknowledged. “But sometimes I think he uses humor to . . . I don’t know . . .”
    “Distance himself from his feelings.”
    Tracy nodded.
    “But it doesn’t mean he doesn’t have those feelings. He loves you so much, Tracy. You have to believe that by now.”
    “I do. It’s just . . . something. Something’s off.”
    Lately, Brendan had made himself scarce in the evenings, coming home around eight-thirty and heading straight up to the kitchen to eat. Instead of bringing his plate to the bedroom—which Tracy used to get on him about, though she secretly liked that he wanted to be there next to her—he stayed up in the loft alone, even watching television up there when he was done. And when he finally came to bed, he pulled her back against him, and asked about the wedding preparations, but politely, like he didn’t really care but knew that he should.
    “I want him to be excited about the wedding. And he’s just not,” Tracy said shrugging.
    “Men are never excited about weddings,” Riley said. “At best they endure them.”
    “ Your man was,” Tracy pointed out. “I almost threw up, it was so sweet. And that was back when I couldn’t stand him.”
    Riley laughed. “Well you shouldn’t use Shawn as an example,” she said. “Because there is no other man like mine in all the world.”
    Tracy rolled her eyes. “Oh, shut up. I’m feeling that urge to vomit all over again.”
    “That’s just the morning sickness.”
    Tracy rubbed her belly, which was still close to flat even though she was at fourteen weeks. It felt firm, and had yet to develop that nice round bump. Surprising herself, she was looking forward to that, the day when she started to show. At first the idea of having a bump on her wedding day was unwelcome, but her dress had such a full skirt that no one would notice. And maybe when she started to show, Brendan would get excited about it. Right now he was the same way about the pregnancy as he was about the wedding—politely inquisitive, but largely disengaged.
    How’re feeling today?
    Do you want me to bring you something from the kitchen?
    You sure you shouldn’t be taking it easy? Sit down a while.
    All of it with the right tone of concern and attentiveness, but none of it sounding particularly heartfelt. The only genuine moment that Tracy could recall came a few nights ago when he came in much later than usual. It had to have been almost eleven, and she was in bed with all the lights off. Tracy pretended to sleep, listening as Brendan undressed, went to the bathroom to brush his teeth. She remained still when he got under the covers next to her