Not Another Soldier by Samantha Holt

— ”
    “Sienna, I wouldn’t have left you alone behind bars.”
    I stifle a giggle. He says it so seriously that it
makes it sound like if he hadn’t have come, I’d have been rotting in jail
forever.
    “I wasn’t actually arrested, you know.”
    Nick shudders ever so slightly. The smallest of
movements as if he’s trying very hard to suppress his emotions. A pang strikes
me. Nick’s so used to taking care of people, including me. No doubt, he feels
like this was somehow all his fault. I put a hand over his as it still grips
the wheel. It makes my palm prickle but I force my hand to remain there.
    “Thank you, Nick. For everything. You have no idea how
much it means to me.”
    He gives me a soft smile, one that has his eyes
crinkling in the corners and almost turns me into a puddle in my seat. “You
don’t need to thank me, babe. You know I’d do anything for you.”
    I turn away and draw in a slow breath. Seriously? Who
talks like that? The man is too much for me to handle. Opening the door, I
climb out and he follows.
    “You don’t need to come up,” I say lightly.
    “Just making sure you get home safe.”
    “And here I am. All safe.” I spread my arms wide as he
comes to my side. He gives me an assessing look, a frank appraisal that has me
shuddering slightly.
    “Looks that way.”
    Now he looks regretful. Shit, I can’t take much more
of this. If I’m not careful, I’m going to jump into his arms again, regardless
of the consequences.
    “Thanks for seeing me home,” I say softly because I am
grateful and I still don’t feel like he gets just how grateful. I’m not sure
he’ll ever understand how important he is to me. And I don’t know if I can say
it as he might think it means I want something more.
    And I don’t.
    “Anytime.” He pauses for a moment. “Let me see you to
your door.”
    I open my mouth to argue and then think twice about
it. There’s no harm in letting him do what he feels he needs to do, and I
really don’t want to fight with him. His footsteps sound behind me as I climb
the stairs and I’m acutely aware of each one. As I press the code into the
door, I sense him near my back, though I know he’s keeping a respectful
distance.
    I push through the door and climb the stairs,
wondering what I’m going to say when we reach the top. I need to establish some
boundaries that say we can be together, just as friends. Something to encourage
the whole ‘friendship’ thing and definitely not the ‘sex’ thing. Problem is,
Nick makes that damned difficult because every time I look at him I think of
sex.
    I slow my pace as I reach the top and scowl. My front
door is slightly ajar. I left in a hurry and was a little preoccupied, but I’m
really careful about my door. I got locked out of our military house once and
had to get a locksmith to com out. The whole thing was a real pain so I always
double check I’ve got my keys and ensure the door is shut properly.
    Nick curls a hand around my arm and holds me back
slightly as we reach the top of the stairs. “Just wait a minute,” he says
before stepping past me.
    He moves stealthily as if approaching enemy territory
rather than my apartment, but my stomach feels like it’s in my throat. The
realization as to why my door is open strikes as I see the splintered door
frame.
    Nick disappears into my place with a quick glance at
me and I wait, arms clutched around myself. My breaths sound loud to my ears.
It feels like he’s gone ages so I step in myself. It’s my home and I can’t
believe I’m being such a wimp. What if Nick hadn’t been here? I really need to
learn to stand on my own two feet.
    My jaw drops as I survey my living room. The couch is
overturned, vases smashed, drawers riffled though. My bookcase has been emptied
and all my books are scattered across the floor, their pages spread out and
crumpled.
    A creak makes me jump and I spin toward the double
doors, my heart throbbing.
    “Sienna, you should have waited