One Voice 02 - Here Without You by Mia Kerick

bad it’d been. What they saw, three days after the fact, freaked ’em out. And guess I didn’t end up avoidin’ that little talk I been dreadin’ about doin’ something about our situation with Uncle Rich. But it didn’t go as bad as I thought.
    “Our situation with Uncle Rich” makes it sound like we’re caught in some kind of an improper business dealin’, where maybe he forgot to pay us for a job well done or some shit like that. But really, the situation is more like a fight for me and Cindy’s lives. Don’t know why, but I just can’t make a sudden leap to change things. Guess I figure the devil I know already might be a whole fuckin’ lot better than the devil I don’t know. And maybe I known a lot of devils in my time.
    At least with Cindy and me under the same roof, I got some control over what goes on with her. What if Cindy got stuck in a worse place and had nobody there to look out for her? I ain’t gonna get no placement with her, seeing as I’m grown. She’d be on her own in foster care, and I just can’t leave nothin’ to chance when it comes to her. Cindy’s pretty much the only real family I got to my name. Not too sure why she shoves me under the bus so much these days with Uncle Rich—alls I can guess is that this whole livin’ with the devil thing ain’t easy on her neither.
    So anyhow, I put in my hours at the gas station today. Couldn’t miss that the chill of fall was in the air neither. Seein’ as I’ll be workin’ outside, pumpin’ gas, I have a feelin’ winter’s gonna feel long and damn cold this year. But a job’s a job, and cash is cash, so I’ll do what’s gotta be done. Gonna be outside walkin’ the dogs at night too. As a matter of fact, I’ll be headin’ there right after I finish writin’ this.
    Us three are already gettin’ our plans settled for this comin’ weekend. Got the word from Aunt Terri that Cindy’ll be welcome to come and stay, so I can bring her down after school and work are done on Friday and have a weekend with my guys.
    So that three can become one, ya see.
    Sounds kinda poetic, huh?
     
     
    C ASEY ’ S REAL LIFE
     
    I ACED my bio exam just like Nate predicted. I just wished I was as good at real life interactions as I was with the study of organisms.
    Tonight Zander and I were “double-dating” with two girls Zander knew from his ethics class who were also members of One Voice. I experienced severe anxiety at expanding my social circle from just Nate and Zander to include outsiders, and in particular, female outsiders. The events from high school—the humiliation of freshman year, the emotional abuse and bullying, the physical assault in junior year—had left me with scars. Thick, deep, ugly purple scars on my heart. The wounds had healed over but the scars had never disappeared.
    I just wished it were Friday and I was holding hands with Zander in the student center parking lot, waiting for Nate to arrive, dreaming of making love and of waking up in the safety of my lovers’ arms. But no. Instead I was sitting stiffly beside Zander in the student-run fancy restaurant, the Hawk’s Key, both of us dressed up in khakis and button-down shirts, awaiting the arrival of two teenage girls.
    I’m not gonna lie. I felt the beginnings of a panic attack coming on.
    “You don’t look too good, Casey. Everything cool?” Zander asked, his brow wrinkled with worry.
    I nodded and reached for my glass of ice water.
    “You’re gonna love these two girls. Just give them a chance, for me.” Zander wanted me to open up my heart to new people.
    Give them a chance, Casey. The words swirled around in my brain. The problem was, I remembered giving some girls a second chance in high school, and I ended up in the hospital.
    “Here they are.” Zander slid out of the booth to greet two young women who were heading across the restaurant in our direction. I concentrated on not fainting.
    The smiling girls each hugged Zander. One of them was tall