Outlaw Derek by Kay Hooper Page B

cuff of her gold silk blouse, pulling at a button methodically. “It isn’t bothering me,” she murmured.
    “Then why were you limping?” He lit a cigarette, more to keep his hands busy than anything else.
    After a moment, she said tightly, “I limp. I can’t help it.”
    “You only limp when your leg hurts and when you start thinking about it. You said it didn’t hurt. So why were you thinking about it just now?”
    “I wasn’t.”
    “You were limping.”
    Shannon pulled harder at the button.
    He sighed softly. “It must be those big brown eyes. You’re getting to me now, and there’s no sign of a red dress.”
    She shot him a quick, startled look. “You don’t have to say things like that.”
    “I thought so,” he said quietly, watching her. “Not only don’t you believe me when I say you’re beautiful, but you honestly have no idea how much you really
are
getting to me. Are youafraid of it, Shannon, or do you just not believe it?”
    “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said unsteadily, bewildered by him and by the turmoil of feelings inside her. She wanted to touch him, wanted to laugh or cry, or do something insanely reckless.…
    Derek leaned forward to stub out his cigarette in an ashtray on the coffee table, paying strict attention to the task. “God knows I don’t want to scare you,” he said in a low voice. “You’ve been scared enough. And hurt enough. But I want you to understand—and believe—that you are a lovely, desirable woman, and that I want you very much.”
    Shannon couldn’t breathe, but didn’t think it mattered. Her heart wasn’t beating either, and then it was pounding erratically. He was several feet away in a large room, but she thought she could reach out and touch him. She could see individual golden hairs on his forearm and the curious flecks of color in his dark eyes. She couldsee the faint white line of tension around his mouth, and the tautness in his jaw. He was sitting back on the couch, turning his head to look at her, and his smile was lopsided, almost casual.
    But there was that tension around his mouth. And had there been a faint tremor in that beautiful deep voice of his?
    “No,” she said huskily, unable to look away. “Men don’t want me.”
    “I can’t speak for all men,” he said quietly. “But I’d hate to think so many were morons. This man wants you, Shannon. I don’t want to take advantage of what’s happening in your life right now, but you had to know. I couldn’t have hidden it much longer. You could see that, couldn’t you? It’s why you were limping. Because I couldn’t hide what I was feeling, and you couldn’t believe it. Damn that distorted mirror,” he added without heat.
    He was right: she couldn’t believe it. Men didn’t want her. And for a man like Derek to say that he did … no, she couldn’t believe it.
    “I could prove it to you,” he said, still without moving from the couch. “But if I started loving you, I’d never be able to stop.” He wanted to tell her that “loving” was a literal term, but knew she wouldn’t believe that either. “And you’d believe it was just an appetite I wanted to satisfy, that it didn’t matter which woman was in my bed. You’d hurt yourself for no reason, and that would hurt me.” He drew a deep breath. “Which is why I’m sitting here hurting in other ways while trying to convince myself that I’m a grown man and I can’t always have what I want.”
    Shannon cleared her throat carefully, and wasn’t surprised when her voice emerged shakily. “You seem to have me pretty well figured out.”
    “I wish that were true.”
    “It’s just—propinquity.”
    “No,” he said, as if he’d expected just that argument from her.
    “It doesn’t make sense,” she whispered.
    He smiled another crooked smile. “It’s the only thing that does. The situation is impossible,the timing is lousy, and I want you.” Evenly, he added, “I shouldn’t have