The Devil's Beating His Wife by Siobhán Béabhar

and closed the door in his face. He simply grabbed the doorknob, turned it, and entered the room.
    There I was, a grown man, sitting on the edge of my bed with my head hanging low as both my parents stared down at me with disappointment. Mother disapproved of my continued courtship of Spicey. Father, well, he was disappointed about something. I just didn't know what it was.
    "While you were up here trying to kill Baxter, our other son dropped by to say hello." His blue eyes bore into mine. The corner of his lips turned downward as he cleared his throat. "I'm glad your mother wasn't successful. She had plotted this for most of the night."
    Mother crossed her arms over her chest and glared at Father. "If I had wanted to succeed in killing him, I would have. I would have grabbed your gun and simply blasted his head off."
    "Can we not talk about you killing me? I would greatly appreciate that—"
    Father shook his head and arched an eyebrow. "You can't even shoot a goddamned rabbit pissin' on your green beans. What makes you think you could shoot your own son?"
    "I reckon I could shoot Baxter if I had the right motivation."
    I cleared my throat loudly and jumped from the bed. "Okay then. Since this conversation doesn't concern me, I'm just going to relieve myself—"
    "Hold on now, sonny." Father planted a hand on my shoulder and pushed me back onto the bed. "We ain't done discussing your murder."
    "I'd rather not be part of this conversation. Something about death triggers very unpleasant memories for me." My voice had dropped to a near whisper. I even had to strain my ears to hear my own words.
    Mother blinked and blushed. Father's lips tightened. They had finally stopped talking.
    With that bit of silence, I left the bedroom and entered the small bathroom. I sunk down onto the toilet and dropped my head into my hands. I ignored the soft knock at the door. I was too focused on forcing out thoughts of disemboweled children and decapitated women from my mind.
    Suddenly, an image of Mother holding a shotgun pointed at Mary-Alice's head formed in my mind. I stifled giggles as I imagined Mother's victorious yell as she pulled the trigger. To be truthful, if my mother ever got around to murdering my sister-in-law, I wouldn't stop her. I'd probably help her hide the body.
    When I finally emerged from my bathroom, I found my parents standing in the middle of the living room. Father had his arms wrapped around Mother's shoulders as she wept into his shirt. He and I exchanged a knowing look. I had narrowly escaped a similar fate only an hour ago.
    Father cocked his head towards the radio. "Listen."
    My eyes settled on the radio. My mind opened to the words streaming into the room. "—has been announced that President Roosevelt is dead."
    Shit. That was a solid kick to the gut. My legs wavered. I sunk down onto the nearest thing. It was my father's favorite ottoman.
    "What does this mean?" Mother asked, a plea in her quivering voice. "Tell me, Frank, what does this mean for us?"
    Father's jaw locked as he struggled with his impatient nature. The relationship between my parents was one built on give and take. My mother gave my father's prickly attitude wide acceptance while my father took my mother's mercurial mood-swings with a grain of salt. His hand tightened on my mother's shoulders, a surprisingly reassuring gesture on his part.
    "The President's dead. That's what that means to us. To everybody." The skin at the bridge of his nose wrinkled as he stared down at the floor. Outwardly, he seemed calm as he processed the news of Roosevelt's death, but inwardly, I imagined him to be reeling. My father liked things to be simple and explainable. When they weren't, he'd simply ignore the situation.
    "Does this mean the war is over? Baxter, do you think this means those Germans have won?"
    My father's tight hold on his patience suddenly broke. "Cecilia, you ain't gotta a lick of sense. You know that? Why don't you hush your mouth and go do