Pao by Kerry Young Page A

to go do a thing like that. I never take any liberty like that with her before. I suppose it was just instinct, even though the only other time I ever touch her was when I take her hand in the church to put the ring on it. And just now with us standing there I realise that we even miss the bit in the wedding when the priest tell you to kiss the bride, so I reckon either Fay or Miss Cicely must have tell him to leave that part out.
    So the two of us entwined in the dark on the veranda and that is when she start to cry. Really sob like her whole body was heaving and it was taking all my strength to hold her up and stop the two of us from falling on the ground. It was like a little kindness turn the key to a floodgate that open up and let everything pour out. So I reckon it was some heavy burden that she was carrying there, but I didn’t say nothing. Truth is I didn’t know what to say to her. So I just carry on holding her tight and hoping that would be enough.
    This is how we stay while I am looking over her shoulder and seeing the waiters in their white uniform with the big wooden tray on their shoulder carrying the food to the guests that want room service. And as they coming and going I know it time, so eventually after she calm herself down I say to her, ‘You want go get some dinner?’ When she ease back I see she was looking at me with a tenderness that almost make my heart bust. Then she mop her face and blow her nose on the kerchief I give her.
    I look at Fay standing there on the veranda and I think well I dunno who Fay Wong is but maybe Fay dunno who Fay Wong is neither because that face that she put on for everybody just seem like a mask to me now.
    That night when we go to sleep she crawl over to me and pull me off the edge into the middle of the bed, and then she rest her head on my shoulder and wrap my arm ’round her, just as I was listening to the tree frogs picking up their song.
     
    When me and Fay finish the honeymoon and come home she take one look at Matthews Lane and she start to cry. The next day she go to her father’s and the day after that she come back. And then she start cry again.
    I ask her what the matter, but Fay can’t even look at me. All I seeing is her back as she laying down or sitting on the edge of the bed.
    ‘I know this house not what you used to but it not so bad. We can do something fix it up.’ She no say nothing to me and I can’t make out if she angry or if she sad so I say, ‘It better than fighting with Miss Cicely.’ And that is when she turn ’round and look at me.
    ‘What on earth made you think I could come here to Matthews Lane and live in a place like this?’
    ‘It’s my home, Fay. This is my family with Ma and Zhang. What do you want me to do, leave them? Look at them, the two of them old. I can’t go leave them just like that. And I don’t want to. I am the son, they my responsibility. You forget you Chinese?’
    ‘You think I am Chinese?’
    ‘What you talking ’bout?’
    And she just get up and walk out the room.
    I think maybe I go buy something to cheer Fay up, like some nice silk blouse and silk stocking and some vase to brighten up the bedroom. And every night when we go to bed I talk to her. I tell ’bout everything happening ’round Chinatown and I ask her what kinda day she have. But all I see is her back and all I hear is the constant snivel and the blow of her nose. I never know a person could cry so much. I thought maybe eventually they would run outta water but not Fay. She keep it up day and night till it really start to vex everybody.
    I can’t take it. It get so bad I start sleeping down the shop but Zhang say it not fair on everybody else in the house, I have to try do something with her. So eventually three weeks later I sit her down and I say to her, ‘Fay, nobody in the house can take your crying no more. You have to tell me what we going do to put an end to it.’ And I really look at her while she sitting on the edge of the