Rodrick Rules by Jeff Kinney

looked like something Gramma would wear to Bingo. I told Scotty maybe I
    could wear something cooler, like a leather jacket, but he said that wouldn't be
    "magic" enough.
    Anyway, it turns out all I have to do for the act is hand Scotty a prop every once in
    a while, so maybe it really isn't going to be all that bad.
    But ask me how I feel again if we get in and have to perform onstage in front of
    five hundred people instead of Scotty's baby sister.
    [Image: A cartoon of a child watching a person perform magic trick.] "And for my
    next twick..."
    Sunday

    I'll tell you ONE good thing that's come out of practicing this magic act with
    Scotty Douglas: It's given me a bunch of good ideas for more Creighton the Cretin
    comics.
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    Rowley quit doing his comic strip "Zoo-Wee Mama!" for the school paper a few
    months ago, because he said he wanted to have more time to play with his
    Dinoblazer action figures. That means the cartoonist job is open again, and maybe
    I have a shot.
    [Image: A cartoon showing a magician doing some stupid magic.] "I'm gonna
    make this apple disappear
    Oh, boy!
    Ta da!
    You didn't make it disappear, you just ate it!
    Uh oh, you figured out my trick.
    You didn't even eat the whole thing!
    Ok, watch this. Now ain't that magic?
    That's not magic, it's just a lighter!
    Oops. I thought it was a magic.
    Boo! You're not a magician, you're an idiot!

    Plus, that's not even a magician's hat. It's an Abraham Lincoln hat!
    Oops."
    THE END.
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    Monday
    Well, good news on the Talent Show. The tryouts were today, and me and Scotty
    didn't make it in.
    OK, so maybe I could have done a better job as Scotty's assistant. But I didn't blow
    it on PURPOSE. I just forgot to hand him his props once or twice.
    [Image: A cartoon of a lady taking down notes about the stage performance.]
    We were the ONLY ones who didn't make the cut, and that actually is kind of
    embarrassing.
    I know we weren't exactly the best act trying out today, but we weren't the
    WORST, either. Some of the acts that got in were a lot lamer than our magic act.
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    This kindergartner named Harry Gilbertson made the cut, and all he did was
    roller-skate figure eights around a boom box that was playing "Yankee Doodle
    Dandy."
    [Image: A cartoon of a child skating around as he listens to music.]

    Rodrick's band made it in, too, and he's acting like that's some huge
    accomplishment.
    Like I said before, Rodrick is really excited about the Winter Talent Show. In fact,
    he actually got his Science Fair project done a day EARLY so he could squeeze in
    some extra band practices before the big night.
    But when Rodrick turned in his project, his Science teacher told him he was gonna
    have to start over and come up with a whole new idea. He said that Rodrick didn't
    use the "scientific method" with a hypothesis and a conclusion and all that.
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    Rodrick told the teacher he actually grew a sixteenth of an inch during his "zero
    gravity" experiment, so that proved he was on to something.
    But his teacher said that's a normal amount for a boy Rodrick's age to grow in a
    month.
    [Image: A cartoon of a man talking to a boy.]
    Well, this really stinks for me, because I had decided to do my Science Fair project
    on "zero gravity," too.
    And now it looks like all the research I did was just a big waste of time.
    [Image: A cartoon of a man sleeping and the boy sitting on the chair.]
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    Dad told Rodrick he's going to have to just skip the Talent Show so he can do a

    new experiment, but Rodrick says he's not going to do it.
    Rodrick told Dad he doesn't CARE about school anymore. He said his plan is to
    win the talent show and use the tape of the performance to get signed to a record
    label. The he'll quit school and just do the band full-time.
    It sounds like a terrible plan to me, but I think Dad is pretty open to the idea.
    [Image: A cartoon of a boy dreaming about himself driving a truck and his parents
    standing out.]
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    Wednesday
    Tonight was the big Winter