Running Northwest by Michael Melville

air. I knew Thomas was watching me; he always liked to look at me. He would tell me sometimes; of all the places that he had been that I was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. I never ever believed him when he said it, though. I did not think he was lying to me but I was scared to believe someone really thought that about me. And as I was standing there looking out at the ocean and the sky, he came up behind me, and just wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close to him. We held hands again and he rubbed my hand with his thumb very slowly. He just held me in in his arms and we just swayed back and forth, as if we were being blown gently like a tree in the breeze. He told me he loved me, and I turned my head a little bit to look up at him. And I think that was when his mom took that picture but I can’t be sure, because we didn’t even know she took it.”
    Stephanie breathed in deep before continuing as her emotions were starting to get the best of her. Karen was watching her friend silently now; she could see the tears in Stephanie’s eyes.
    “He let go of one of my hands, reached up, gently touched my chin and turned my head a little bit towards him. He brushed his fingers down my cheek and behind my ears, and just looked right into my eyes. He loved me so much more than words could have ever said. I could see it in his eyes when he was looking at me. Then he moved his face closer to mine and kissed me. I turned around in his arms so I was facing him and we just kept kissing; warm, soft, romantic kisses. It was wonderful and he held me close with one arm. I did not stop him, because I did not want him to stop.
    “When we were done, he said he could kiss me like that for the rest of his life. He just looked at me – at my eyes, my face, my smile, and ran his fingers through my hair. Then he grabbed my hand and kissed it – it was so old fashioned. His mom was standing a bit away, watching but insisting, of course, that she wasn’t. Then we walked back down the way we came holding hands the whole time. We went back to his mom Grace’s condominium and went to bed. Thomas and I slept together again that night but nothing happened. We just fell asleep holding each other. I loved sleeping next to him. We left the next morning to come back to Michigan.”
    Stephanie finished talking, opened her eyes, and looked at Karen.  At this point, she had tears running down her face.
    “What’s wrong, Sweetie? Why are you crying?” Karen asked.
    Stephanie wiped her face with a pillow and the back of her hand band started to say, “It’s just…”
    “It’s just what?” Karen asked.
    “It’s just I haven’t talked about this in years, Karen. I haven’t been able to; I put it away, out of my mind. I do not know what to think about it now. I don’t know why I’m so upset about it now after all this time though.”
    “Well I don’t know either, Steph,” Karen said, adding “He sounds amazing. He really loved you didn’t he?”
    “So much, so damn much. He tried so hard for so long…harder than anyone ever has,” Stephanie answered, “You know what the sad thing is Karen? What the stupid thing is?” she asked as she wiped her eyes again and looked over to her friend and confidant.
    “What’s that, Darlin?” Karen replied.
    “I was already in love with him,” Stephanie said as she burst into tears again, “I was and I was too scared to tell him that I loved him back. I fought my feelings for him for so long and he kept on trying. I was so scared of someone truly loving me that much, that I shut him out,” she said through heavy tears.
    “I know you were, and I know you still are, I could tell this whole time as I sat here and listened to you talk about him and the way you looked at his picture,” Karen said and added, “So what happened when you got back?”
    Stephanie sighed, “On the way home, on the airplane. I was laying my head on his shoulder, resting, and he told me he wanted to be