Running Northwest by Michael Melville Page A

with me and no one else. He told me he would make me happy for as long as I would let him. I told him I had to think about it. He wasn’t mad but I know it wasn’t what he wanted to hear,” she said.
    “Okay, then what else? Because you did something stupid, I know you and I know you did something stupid, and you did it because you were scared. I can’t believe you said you would think about it. You might as well have just punched him in the crotch” Karen said.
    “I sure did, something really stupid and I was scared, but I was so happy with Thomas. He made me happy in ways I never told him, ways that he doesn’t even know,” Stephanie answered.
    “So, what did you do?” Karen asked as she crossed her arms and stared fiercely at Stephanie.
    “When we got back, he dropped me off at home and he talked to my parents for a bit. I had been thinking about everything he said, everything that had went on and had been said the whole trip, flight and car ride home. He went to give me a hug goodbye, and then went to give me a kiss and I pulled away. I don’t know why, but I did. He looked at me and I could tell he was confused. Then he just kissed my forehead, kind of smiled at me and left. I did that right in front of my mom, who I had already told about the kiss on the beach when we talked on the phone. She was excited, very excited. She really liked Thomas a lot; she liked how he treated me. He called me the next day and texted but I didn’t answer. I did that for about a week or so. He was pissed and confused and did not know what he did wrong. He did nothing wrong at all but I wouldn’t tell him that.”
    Stephanie stopped talking and wiped her eyes.
    “The next weekend I went out with some of my other friends and there was this guy with us that I had been sort of seeing a little bit a few months before and we were drinking and he told me he wanted to starting dating me again and that he missed me. I said okay without thinking and then I had sex with him,” she said as she covered her face.
    “Oh my God, you didn’t! Are you serious?” Karen said with her back straight. She was very shocked
    “I know it was such a slutty thing to do. A stupid thing to do; and the sad thing is I can’t even remember his name anymore. But we did date for like a month. I was still in love with Thomas the whole time, but I was so afraid of that love, of that kind of love and devotion, I’d never had it before. So I ran like hell away from Thomas, I wouldn’t even talk to him, answer his phone calls or text messages or emails, I treated him like crap. I pretended he didn’t exist to me. Our friends were pissed at me. They were the ones who told him about me and that other kid and having sex that weekend. Thomas was furious at me. He actually beat the hell out of the kid one night when he ran into him. The poor guy had no idea what the hell hit him, what was going on or why it happened, until I told him. That ended that, really fast,” she told her friend, feeling embarrassed and horrible all over again. She felt sick to her stomach
    “So what happened with Thomas, then? Did you and he talk about it? I bet he hated you, didn’t he? I mean, not to sound mean but you kind of used him,” Karen said.
    “The sad thing is, and the thing that makes me feel the worst even now, is that Thomas felt it was his fault the whole time. That he did something wrong, that the one time he pushed something is the one time he shouldn’t have. He felt he had messed up and upset me. I knew this, too. Our friends, his best friend, told me this, and I never went to him, explained myself and told him otherwise. I never said I was sorry. I just let him feel shitty and worthless. Our friends hated me for a while, as I said. His family I am sure hated me. His dad, who I loved and loved talking to and who really liked me, would not even talk to me anymore or look at me. Nevertheless, the whole time, even after everything I did to him, how I know I made