Secrets by Erosa Knowles

having what I've
always wanted. You know what, I'm glad you had my babies, it
should've been you.”
    “You're crazy; four years ago you probably
told your fiancé the same thing.” She stepped back.
    “No. I've never said that to anyone else.”
He stared at her a moment. The woman was clueless to his feelings
for her. That was his fault and he planned to correct it. “It's
always been you, Chas. Always.” As far as he was concerned, they’d
both messed up. Despite her excuses, she should've told him about
his kids. Now wasn't the time for that discussion, but they'd
address it later, like after their tenth anniversary.
    “Stop lying. You've been with a lot of
women.”
    “Not really. But they didn't mean anything.
Like I said, it's always been you.” He exhaled. He was scared
shitless, but he had to do it. They needed the air clear between
them. “And if I'd had any idea that you cared for me, any at all, I
wouldn’t have wasted everyone’s time.”
    “Are you...are you saying it's my fault?”
Her voice rose an octave. “All of this is my fault? You can't keep
it in your pants and I'm the one wrong.” Backing up, she pointed at
him. “You've lost your mind. You know that.” She moved to pass him.
He grabbed her around the waist, spun her around so her ass rubbed
against his groin. The moan caught in his throat, she felt so
good.
    “I'm not crazy.” He held her tight against
him as her arms flailed wild. “Stop, Chas, you're going to hurt
yourself.” She tried to kick him. He squeezed her tighter. “Listen,
she-cat. If you'd paid me any attention at all, gave me any
indication you liked me, the only person I would've been engaged to
is you. That's all I'm saying.”
    She stopped struggling. “I didn't like you,”
she huffed.
    “Yes you did.”
    She turned and looked at him. Her breath
evened out while she looked at him with a what-the-hell expression
on her face. “Now you're telling me what I feel? Who I like? What's
next?”
    Ignoring her question, he reminded her of
the day of his commitment. “You took my promise ring.”
    “What? I didn't,” she sputtered.
    Turning her to face him, he hauled her
closer; the tips of her breast grazed his chest as she looked up at
him. “When I gave you my large purple cat-eyed marble.” She stared
a moment and burst out laughing. His heart hammered in his chest at
the twinkle in her eyes. The woman's beauty touched off so many
sparks inside him, he felt wonderfully alive.
    “You're crazy. You were what,
thirteen-years-old at the time?”
    Pleased she remembered, he corrected her.
“No, I was fifteen, you were twelve. A marble, especially a purple
cat-eye, is the equivalent of a promise ring in every society.”
Sobering, he gazed in her darkened eyes. “Tell me I messed up by
not calling you, or that I'm a jerk for allowing my pride to
override my common sense. But never tell me I don't remember what
we shared those two nights.”
    She tried to pull back. Shaking his head, he
pulled her closer and kissed her forehead. Leaning back, he smiled.
“You have a birthmark over your left butt cheek in the shape of a
bird or dragon; I was scared it’d break the mood if I took too much
time to examine it.” He winked at the look of surprise on her face.
“Your long, toned legs cradled me tight between your thighs, we fit
perfectly. Your breasts fill my hands, just the right size. Your
cream tastes better than my favorite dessert. I licked my fingers
long after I left the ranch, trying to find remnants of you. Your
unique fragrance is engraved on my mind, your touch the standard
everyone else is judged by.” He finished in a rush, his face on
fire as he blurted his secret thoughts. “Like I said, tell me I'm
an ass for not knowing about my kids, or for asking a woman I
didn't love to marry me. But never tell me I don't remember what we
shared, they are two of the most important events in my life and
I'll never, ever forget them.”
    The look of shock on her