Sicken and So Die by Simon Brett Page A

part he’d longed to play all his life, and he was now at the ideal . . . erm, maturity . . . to do it justice. He wouldn’t get another crack at it. And he didn’t want this chance buggered up by a director with no sensitivity to Shakespeare.
    John B. Murgatroyd and he had prepared tactics over various long sessions in the pub. Basically, they both intended to play their parts as they had been playing them under Gavin Scholes’ direction – and, in their view, as Shakespeare intended them to be played.
    So, though they listened politely to Alexandru’s suggestions, and even went through the motions of trying out his new ideas, after a couple of runs at a scene they would revert to doing it exactly the way they had before. This did not make for a good atmosphere between the two actors and their Director.
    A typical moment of conflict occurred when they were rehearsing Act Two, Scene Three. Maria, having described her plans to dupe Malvolio, has just exited, leaving Sir Toby Belch and Sir Andrew Aguecheek united in admiration for her ingenuity. The following lines then ensue:
    SIR TOBY: Good night, Penthesilea.
    SIR ANDREW: Before me, she’s a good wench.
    SIR TOBY: She’s a beagle, true bred, and one that adores me . . . what o’ that? [HE SIGHS.]
    SIR ANDREW: I was adored once, too. [HE SIGHS ALSO.]
    SIR TOBY: Let’s to bed, knight.
    Charles and John B. ran through the lines as they had rehearsed them under Gavin. Alexandru Radulescu, his little body contorted into a knot of concentration, watched intently. As soon as Charles had said his “‘Let’s to bed, knight,”’ the director waved his hands in the air.
    â€˜OK, OK, we stop. There is a lot here. It is a very good moment this, I think.’
    â€˜Certainly is,’ Charles agreed. For him it was the most poignant moment in the play, one of the many in
Twelfth Night
where farce is suddenly shaded with melancholy. He loved the wistfulness with which John B. Murgatroyd played his “‘I was adored once too,” and was pleased with the way he, as Sir Toby, put his arm around the ineffectual knight’s shoulder and led him off. It was a brief instance of closeness between the two characters; for a second Sir Toby suspended his cynical campaign of exploitation and showed Sir Andrew a flash of human sympathy.
    That was not, however, how Alexandru Radulescu saw the exchange. ‘Yes, very good,’ he repeated, looking down at his script. ‘As ever, Shakespeare tells us everything. It is all in the text, if only you look hard enough.’
    Actually, you don’t have to look that hard, thought Charles. Usually the meaning in Shakespeare’s lines is limpidly self-evident. Still, he was relieved that the director was finally recognising the pre-eminence of the actual words.
    â€˜Now, obviously,’ Alexandru went on, ‘there are references here to the past, things that have happened before the play starts.’
    â€˜Yes,’ Charles agreed.
    â€˜Sir Andrew talking about having been “adored once too” John B. contributed.
    â€˜. . . and,’ the director concluded triumphantly, ‘an unequivocal confirmation of the homosexual relationship between the two knights.’
    â€˜What!’
    â€˜What!’
    Alexandru became excited as he expounded his textual analysis. ‘You see, they talk about Maria. Sir Toby says she’s “one that adores me – what of that?” In other words, he is saying, “She fancies me, but what of that? Since I’m gay, she’s wasting her time.”’
    â€˜No, he is not saying that. He’s praising her.’
    â€˜Praising her? How do you get that? What does he describe Maria as? A “beagle”. This is not very flattering, I think. He is saying she is very ugly. He is saying she is a
dog
.’
    â€œâ€˜Dog” didn’t have that meaning at the time Shakespeare was –’