Stay by Hilary Wynne

lighten the m oment.
    Julian lets go of one of my hands and brings his hand up to my chin. He tilts it up and forces me to look up at him. I fully expect my eyes to be met with the same lustful, fiery gaze he’s been looking at me with the whole night. I expect a racy, sexually explicit comment is not far off as well. But I’m so wrong.
    Instead, Julian is looking at me with reverent eyes and a tenderness I haven’t seen from him before. Huh? Here we just had this totally hot, carnal moment, and now he’s looking at me with softness in his eyes that should be reserved for someone he has feelings for, not a girl he just let grind against him in a dark hallway. Maybe it’s the lighting and I’m imagining what I see in his eyes. Well, I think, if he isn’t going to say something raunchy, I will. I’ll say anything to get him to stop looking at me like that.
    I open my mouth to make a snarky comment about what just happened, and I’m stopped as he lowers his mouth softly to mine. Julian’s hand is still on my face, and his thumb is stroking my jaw tenderly as he slips his tongue in between my parted lips. I let out a small gasp when I feel the soft silkiness of his tongue as it strokes and caresses the inside of my mouth. Our mouths are connecting much in the same way our bodies did on the dance floor, fluidly and like one. This. Man. Can. Kiss. I can tell by the way he keeps deepening our connection that he’s falling into me as much as I am into him. He pulls his tongue out and slowly traces my lips with it. He gently nips at my lower lip before he plunges his tongue back into my waiting mouth. I’m basically pinned to the wall by his hard body, and he’s still holding one of my hands at my side. I use my other hand to reach around and grab the back of his head, pulling him deeper into me. I catch his tongue with my lips and suck gently. Julian moans and thrusts his tongue deep into my mouth. A rush of feelings streams through my body. I feel him on my lips, on my skin, between my legs, and in my heart. Fuck! In my heart? As intense and passionate as our kisses are, they do not feel purely physical, and all of a sudden, an overwhelming sense of panic begins to engulf me, and my body starts throwing up red flags. No! No! No! I scream internally. No emotions allowed, Alexa; this is just supposed to be abou t sex.
    Somehow I’m able to break my lips away from Julian, and I put my free hand on his chest and gently push him away. Julian pulls back and looks at me, his eyes wide open and questioning. It’s as if he was somewhere else while he was kissing me, and now he can’t believe I’m standing in front of him. His expression is serious, and in this moment I feel completely vulnerable. Again, it’s as if he can see everything I’m thinking and fe eling.
    He groans softly and tries to slow his pulse down by taking a deep breath. I can hardly breathe, and my heart is beating out of my chest. His voice is raspy and laden with lust. “I’m about twenty seconds from ripping all of your clothes off and making love to you right now, Alexa. And I never do things like that here.”
    He takes a small step backward, lets go of my hand, and breaks the connection between our b odies.
    “And although the idea of taking you right now against this wall sounds like the best idea in the world, I never mix my business with pleasure. I’ve already crossed way too many lines with you ton ight.”
    He says this but then steps in closer again and puts his hands on my waist. He seems unable to make up his mind about what he shou ld do.
    “But, my God, I want you.”
    My mind is still stuck on his words from a minute ago. Make love ? Did he just say make love? Where did that come from? The whole night has been filled with dirty talk. Now he’s talking about making love? If I were to be honest with myself, which I don’t like to be in these emotional situations, I would be acknowledging that I do understand why he’s acting the