Such Is My Beloved by Morley Callaghan

himself of the problem.
    â€œI’ve heard so much about your conversation. I’d just love to listen to the two of you talking,” she said.
    â€œNo, not to-night,” he said. “I’m happy to be here with you and Charlie. I know you’ll make him a splendid wife.” He blushed, remembering that the last argument had been about celibacy, and Charlie had yelled, “Faith, hope and celibacy, and the greatest of these is celibacy, says St. Paul.” He nodded his head with the diffidence of a man who feels he may be intruding, but who wants to stay. “I’d be very happy to-night if we didn’t become intellectual, but if you’d just let me sit here and listen, and maybe you’d talk about your plans or what you’ve been doing and where you’ve been going, and perhaps what you expect to do when you get married.”
    The medical student started to talk solemnly about his plans for the future; he was going away to another city. His thin, clever face lit up as he told how he wanted to specialize in nervous diseases: he would like to go to Vienna, he said, and study in the hospitals there. When he paused, the tall girl who had been listening intently, with her head leaning forward, her face full of sincerity, began to speak rapidly, carrying on just from the point where Charlie had left off, making more plans, telling how they would go to Vienna because they both were saving their money. When she, too, had to stop to get her breath, Charlie went on slowly, explaining that he loved andrespected his work, and wanted to keep growing into it, that he would work like a dog and still remain very willing. “Pauline understands the situation perfectly,” he said. “We know just what we want to do. The whole thing is there before us if we’ll only do it,” and they smiled confidently, as if their souls remained open to each other. Father Dowling, watching and listening, did not know why he felt so joyful at one moment, so inexpressibly sad at another. It filled him with joy to be there, close to these two young people who were so much in love, and yet it was a kind of love he would never be able to realize completely, although he assured himself it was just a part of a greater, more comprehensive love that he often felt very deeply. In a moment of wistfulness, he rubbed his plump hand nervously over his face, listening like a child, but he was thinking that this beautiful girl who was so well dressed lived comfortably, while the two girls who most concerned him in the world, and who were now his special care, looked shabby, lived in mean rooms and probably were often hungry.
    The student and his girl were still talking, having almost forgotten that he was there. He stole a nervous glance at Pauline’s fine kid shoes, at her black crêpe dress, so rich-looking and probably so expensive, and then, with the color mounting in his smooth cheeks, he glanced quickly at her legs in the sheerest of fine crêpe hose. Sighing, he leaned back and closed his eyes. But they did not notice him. At that moment he was feeling more love for the two girls than he had ever felt before because their lives were so wretched, because their clothes were so shabby, and even when they bought new things they were in poor taste. “Midge bought a new hat but it did not really look like this girl’s hat,” he thought. Suddenly Father Dowling was full of such eagerness that he leaned forward, waiting for Charlie to stop talking. He was moistening his lips, smiling,hardly hearing the conversation at all. “I wonder,” he said. “I wonder if you would do something for me, Pauline?”
    â€œI’d do anything I could, Father.”
    â€œI’m sure you would, but I don’t want to impose on you.”
    â€œI won’t let you do that, Father. I’m pretty ruthless.”
    â€œThis is a matter that would only take up a little of your time.