Talk to Strangers: How Everyday, Random Encounters Can Expand Your Business, Career, Income, and Life by David Topus Page A

airplane who was traveling with a cat. I should mention that I don’t have a natural affinity for cats; I am a total and lifelong dog person. So even though the furry creature was in a travel cage, it was still a cat—I was going to spend the next 2 hours sitting next to its devoted owner. For me, it was a little too much feline familiarity.
     
    However, veteran random connectors know that aligning with other people is the golden rule of making successful, meaningful contacts, regardless of our own preferences. So for these few hours, I vowed to find ways to embrace and celebrate cats—and those who own them. I had no idea that at the same time, I would meet a global recruiter for one of the largest consulting firms in the world, an individual who would become a friend, colleague, and resource who would enhance my life and my business in ways I could never have imagined. (That was the woman, by the way, not the cat.)
     
    I knew that people like people who are like them, so I was determined to find a way to like my new seatmate, as well as her furry friend. This was not a time for letting my own sentiments get in the way of making a new connection. It was a time to be other-focused, to be interested, curious, and even fascinated by this person, traveling midday on a business route, with cat in tow. And if I was going to find out what her story was, I would have to override my negative thoughts and feelings about cats—not to mention those who travel with them—lest I limit my possibilities by not even broaching a conversation.
     
    “What’s her name?” I asked with interest, gesturing to the cat.
     
    “Sadie,” the woman answered.
     
    “What a cute name,” I replied, causing this new potential contact to instantly warm up to me. After all, I didn’t have to love cats to get on board with those who do. “Cats are amazing,” I added. “They’re very loyal, so much fun to play with, and there’s nothing like a cat curled up on your lap.”
     
    Even though I didn’t necessarily have experience with cats sitting on my lap, I presumed what I said would be true for my new traveling companion, so it seemed an appropriate comment to make. It was my attempt at establishing alignment and common ground.
     
    “She seems to be traveling very well . . . Do you travel with her often?” I asked, building more rapport and (hopefully) creating a conversation path about why she travels and what type of work she does.
     
    Information flowed freely from there as we chatted: she was moving to a new city for an assignment with her company . . . recruited senior consultants . . . was focused on the fast-growing Asia/Pacific region . . . was studying to become a personal coach . . . wanted to do some part-time work for a firm like mine . . . and oh, by the way, I would come to discover that her husband worked for a company that was on my target prospect list.
     
    In random connecting, and life in general, we will always encounter people who are different from us. That’s what makes life interesting. Our ability to abandon our own, sometimes limited, ideas and beliefs in deference to the other person—to find what is interesting, even fascinating, about that other person and what is important to him or her —is one of the greatest attributes we can possess. My cat-loving companion prompted me to abandon my personal feelings about cats and instead open my mind to the fact that others do love cats—for reasons I may not fully understand or appreciate. As a result of my ability to keep an open mind, I gained a valued friend and colleague.
     
    Think about people with whom you just seemed to hit it off, whether you met them at parties, in business settings, through mutual friends, or in the neighborhood. Chances are, you will realize it’s probably because you and they were—and are—similar in some way or ways.
     
    Sometimes that similarity is a physical one: how you walk, talk, sit, or move. Sometimes these