The Boyfriend Bylaws by Susan Hatler

got home at midnight to find Patti on the living room sofa, watching a movie.
    Patti reached for the remote and hit pause. “So?”
    Leaning back against the door to close it, I was still floating from Matt’s kisses. “How did you know?”
    Her mouth twitched. “Know what?”
    Forcing my legs to move, I came into the living room and sat on the couch next to her. “How did you know he wouldn’t just tell me how I could have him and keep Betty, too?”
    Patti gave me a satisfied look. “I’ve known you since you were eleven, Mel. You think I didn’t suspect how you felt about him? How you avoided him like crazy by dating any other available man? The caveat was actually for Matt, so he’d know how much he meant to you as well. You’re welcome.”
    I gave Patti a hug. “Thanks, Patti. For being my friend and for The Boyfriend Bylaws.”
    She hugged me back. “What can I say? Sometimes a friend’s just got to step in. After all, friends don’t let friends date badly.”
    I pulled back and raised an eyebrow at her. “Oh, good. That means I get to work on you now.”
    ****
    Even though it was midnight and two hours later for my mom in Colorado, I dialed her number.
    She picked up the phone on the second ring. “Hello?”
    “Hi, Mom. It’s Melanie.” I hesitated, wanting to tell her so much, but one thing most of all. “I’ve met someone, Mom. I’ve met The One.”
    “Oh, Melanie.” Her voice filled with emotion.
    I knew in that instant that it would be okay. That I was ready to listen to her now and accept that maybe she’d divorced my dad for a good reason rather than just not wanting to work things out.
    “I’m going to put on a pot of coffee so you can tell me all about him,” she said.
    And I did.
     
    THE END

BONUS SHORT STORY:
     
     

My Last Blind Date
     
     
    by
     
    Susan Hatler
     
     
    ****
    The only thing worse than having a blind date on Valentine’s Day is having no date at all. Well, that’s exactly where I stood. I, Rachel Price, was dateless. Unless I chose what was behind Door Number Two.
    The blind date option had just come from my friend and co-worker, Ellen Holbrook. She’d stopped by my cubicle at work and dropped the bomb. An exciting opportunity to meet the love of my life? Doubtful. With three failed set-ups courtesy of Ellen already, I dreaded dealing with another dating disaster.
    Dateless or blind date? Decisions, decisions….
    “So?” Ellen strode to my desk and fiddled with the stapler, making it click click click . She wiggled her brows and smiled at me hopefully. “Should I make the call?”
    An actual date on Valentine’s Day had tempted me, but with Ellen’s track record, it’d be safer ordering take-out.
    “No dice.” I reached up from my chair and gave her a hug. “But, thanks for the offer.”
    My phone rang and I wondered who would be calling about software sales at four forty-five in the afternoon on the big Hallmark holiday. I snatched up the receiver. “Rachel Price. Hello?”
    Heavy breathing.
    Lovely. I slammed the receiver down.
    Ellen gestured toward the phone. “Who was it?”
    “The universe telling me all the non-psychotic ones are taken.” I swiveled in my chair and logged off my computer, knowing I wouldn’t get any more work done today. “Don’t worry about me, Ellen. Just promise when I keel over, old and alone, you’ll bury me in the backyard next to Chester. He’s the only one who’s ever really loved me.”
    Ellen rolled her eyes like I was hopeless. “I love you, Morbid Girl. When are you going to admit you’re using your dog as a substitute boyfriend?”
    She made it sound like a bad thing. Seemed like a smart move to me. Chester always greeted me at the door, liked to cuddle, and let me pick the side of the bed. What more could I ask for?
    Oh, yeah. Romance, marriage, children….
    “I’m telling you to listen to your best friend and let me set you up tonight. This guy could be your Henry.” She’d pulled out her