The Candy Man Cometh by Dan Danko, Tom Mason Page A

fighting alien invasions on Pluto or hanging over some mad scientist’s mutated leech pit.”
    “I know, Dad. I’m sorry. It’s just that sometimes when I’m saving the world and all, I don’t really have time to call home.”
    “Your brother
always
has time to call home no matter how busy
he
is!” Mom chided.
    “But Mom! Brad’s just a florist! He doesn’t have to punch evil in the face!” I said.
    “How would you know? Have you ever had to protect a strawberry plant from a pill bug? Have you?” my mom asked.
    “No... but I did defeat the giant robot that was trying to —”
    “Look, son,” my dad said, “we’re not trying to be hard on you. It’s just that being a superhero sidekick doesn’t mean you can forget about your other responsibilities. Now I know you saved the planet from being ‘enslaved’ by evil Geduldig overlords and ensured that your mother and I can peacefully live out the rest of our lives without the fear of working in their salt mines until we die of starvation, but even though you were the lone reason we averted an ‘interstellar war’ that would’ve resulted in the ‘deaths of millions of innocent lives,’ I’m still going to have to revoke your TV and phone privileges for two weeks.”
    “Fine!” I said, throwing my arms up in the air. “Next time I’ll just let the alien hordes win!”
    “Now who would you really be hurting if you did that? Hmmm?” my dad asked. “I think . . . you.”
    I threw down my sidekick goggles and raced up to my room. About ten minutes later there was a knock on the door.
    It was my dad.
    “It’s tough being a sidekick, huh?” he asked. “Not for the other sidekicks,” I replied. “I mean, between Pumpkin Pete and you and Mom...”
    “Let me tell you, it’s pretty tough being a parent, too. Most parents just have to worry about their kids getting into trouble or making bad decisions ... but I have to worry about my son being disintegrated.”
    Ever since Pete accidentally fired the League of Big Justice’s Disintegration Ray of Zappiness and nearly hit me, I swear, Dad just won’t let it go.
    “I know, Dad, but you and Mom said you’d support me!”
    “That we did, but we never said we wouldn’t
worry
about you. Almost every day that I watch you head off to the League of Big Justice, I can’t help but think I made a mistake.”
    “So you don’t want me to be a sidekick? You’d be so proud if I was just Junior Assistant Florist, wouldn’t you?!”
    “Some days... yes.”
    I couldn’t believe it! He’d rather I was a florist than a superhero? For a second I hoped that my parents had been replaced by evil clones and this was just one small cog in some giant evil plot to destroy the League of Big Justice and the Sidekicks. Sure! Replace all of their parents with evil clones who would tell them they’d rather they were florists than superheroes, and suddenly the entire League of Big Justice calls it quits and opens one giant flower shop.
    Boy, would evil laugh on
that
day. And it wouldn’t just be because King Justice was selling daisies.
    “You think I love all this, too?” I grumbled. “It totally sucks that I can’t tell anyone I have super powers. Do you know how popular I’d be?”
    “We all have to give something up in our lives, son. Some more than others...”
    We all have to give something up?
I thought to myself. Yeah. Right. What’d Dad ever have to give up? He’s an accountant, for gosh sakes! He’ll never understand. No one does. Being my age can really suck. Living a secret life and lying to my friends and getting grief from my parents about it
always
sucks.
    And nearly getting devoured by mutant leeches? I don’t
even
want to tell you how much
that
sucks! Because...uh...see... leeches, they suck.
    My life used to be normal. The only lecture I ever got from my dad was about being nicer to my mom and not trying to break the parental-lock passwords on their Internet account. But that was before the