The Candy Man Cometh by Dan Danko, Tom Mason

Chapter One
    Bonding with Pumpkin Pete

    “What was your last sidekick like?” I asked Pumpkin Pete.
    Pumpkin Pete shook his big, fat, orange pumpkin head. “Oh...he was a real pain in the you-know-what.”
    “Really?”
    “Oh, yeah,” Pete snorted. “All that kid did was complain, complain, complain.”
    “About what?” I asked.
    “Pfft. Try everything. From the moment that kid put the first coat of wax on the Pumpkin-mobile to the day he ironed my last Super Shirt of Pumpkinness, all that kid did was whine.”
    “But, like, what about?”
    “Oh, I don’t know, really,” Pete answered. “He wanted me to teach him stuff and help him learn things. Always begging for me to tell him about the Mysterious Ways of the Pumpkin and blah, blah, blah. As if just
anyone
could be allowed into the Obscure Inner Circle of the Pumpkin.” Pete shook his head again.
    “Who
is
allowed in the Obscure Inner Circle of the Pumpkin?” I asked.
    “Anyone with a pumpkin for a head. And if you ask me, the bigger, the fatter, and the oranger, the better,” Pete replied. “Or is it ‘orangier’?”
    “But Pete,
you’re
the only one in the world with a pumpkin for a head,” I reminded him.
    “Yeah, I know. The Inner Circle meetings are real dull. That’s why I never go. But I’ll tell you this much, my life got a whole lot easier the day I kicked that kid to the curb,” Pete said.
    “Wow. What happened?”
    “I was just driving along and the kid was, like, ‘Blah blah blah blah! Whine whine whine.’ So I just pulled over the Pumpkinmobile and kicked him out!” Pete explained.
    All of this was suddenly sounding familiar. “What kind of powers did he have?” I asked.
    Pete wrinkled his nose and thought for a moment. “He...uh...he had the power to give me a headache. I really don’t remember. I never talked to him much.”
    “Why not?” I prodded.
    “Because if I said something to him, then he’d probably say something back to me, and then I’d probably have to answer and a conversation might break out,” Pete said in a condescending tone, as if he were explaining the obvious. He stopped and scratched his hollow pumpkin skull. “What was his name again? It was something like Spotty or Spuddy.”
    “Speedy?” I asked, realizing that my suspicions were correct.
    “Yeah! That’s it!” Pete excitedly shook a finger. “Man, am I glad that kid’s gone.”
    “Uh... Pete,” I said, “
I’m
Speedy.”
    “WHAT!? I thought I kicked you out of the Pumpkinmobile an hour ago!” Pete hit the brakes.
    As I stood on the curb and watched Pumpkin Pete zoom away in the Pumpkinmobile, I couldn’t help but wonder if this was some kind of test. You know, drop your sidekick-in-training in the middle of nowhere and see how long it takes him to get home.
    But then I remembered the last time Pete did this. Man, it took me days to get home from Pluto, and boy was it cold! My parents were so upset when I finally got back to Earth.
    I still remember that whole stupid conversation....
    CHAPTER ONE-AND-A-HALF
    That Whole Stupid Conversation
    “I don’t care if you did stop the Geduldig invasion fleet at Pluto! The next time you’re planning on leaving the solar system, you darn well better call home to get permission first!” my mom scolded when I came home.
    “Technically, I didn’t leave the solar sys —” I didn’t finish the sentence. My mom gave me The Look. Anyone who says parents don’t have super powers has never experienced The Look. It can see through closed doors, it can spot a lie a mile away, and it can silence you faster than Captain Haggis on the bagpipes. Actually, Captain Haggis on the bagpipes doesn’t silence you so much as make you wish
he
were silent.
    “And really, son,” my dad joined in, “it’s at times like this that I really don’t think being a superhero sidekick is such a good idea. Your mother and I were worried sick. Put yourself in our shoes, son. We don’t know if you’re