The Candy Man Cometh by Dan Danko, Tom Mason Page B

day I ran at 27 miles per hour into a wall. I woke up an hour later and realized two very important things:
    IMPORTANT THING #1
    Running into a wall at 27 miles per hour really, really hurts.
    IMPORTANT THING #2
    I, Guy Martin, had super powers.
    I also learned that the one thing more important than seeing how fast I could run was learning how to stop. So I guess that means I learned three important things that day.
    Later on I learned a very important fourth thing: nearly getting devoured by mutant leeches sucks, but I think I already told you that.
    But everything changed that day. Rather than having an awesome ability that would make me the most popular person in school, it became an awesome secret — something I had to hide from everyone. I never knew being a superhero would be such a burden.
    I mean, forget about that fact that some nut or alien was always trying to kill you, and just think about how rotten it would be knowing that you might be the
only
thing standing between Earth’s survival and eternal enslavement in the salt mines of Geduldigopia.
    And let me tell you, the weather on Geduldigopia is totally rotten!
    That’s a lot for a kid to take in!
    Don’t get me wrong. I love being a sidekick. Sure, my League of Big Justice superhero sponsor, Pumpkin Pete is...well... not your traditional hero. And I’m not just saying that because he has a big, fat, orange pumpkin for a head. Let’s just say he’s heroically challenged and leave it at that.
    I mean, now I can run more than 100 miles per hour and I get to fight alongside the greatest superhero that ever walked the earth: King Justice, founder of the League of Big Justice. Well, I don’t always fight
alongside
him. More like behind him. The lucky sidekick who gets to fight alongside King Justice is Charisma Kid.
    Who, by the way, is a total jerk.
    And get this, in his secret identity, Charisma Kid and I go to the same school. His real name is Mandrake Steel.
    Who, by the way, is also a total jerk.

Chapter Two
    Earlobe Lad Still Can’t Fly

    “Okay, you sidekicks,” Pumpkin Pete said as he paced in front of us, holding his long, viney arms behind his back. “I lost a bet with Captain Haggis, so I’m stuck training you again.”
    Spice Girl, Boy-in-the-Plastic-Bubble Boy, Boom Boy, Exact Change Kid, Charisma Kid, Earlobe Lad, Spelling Beatrice, and I all stood at attention like we were eight sidekicks who were standing at attention because we were sidekicks and we were standing at attention.
    And there were eight of us.
    Running at 102 miles per hour, it didn’t take me long to race back to the Sidekick Super Clubhouse. Pete had already started this week’s training session and, as usual, seemed to have completely forgotten that he’d dropped me off in the middle of downtown only minutes before.
    Pumpkin Pete took a step toward Earlobe Lad. Earlobe Lad staggered backward and waved his hands in front of his face. “Don’t throw me off the roof again! Please!” he gasped.
    Pete’s face suddenly brightened. “Oh yeah! You’re that kid who can’t fly!”
    “Yes! Yes! That’s me! I
can’t
fly!” Earlobe Lad whispered as loudly as he could, doing his best to protect his super-sensitive ears.
    Pete scratched his big, fat, orange pumpkin head. “You’d think with ears that big, all you’d have to do is flap ’em a few times and it’s ZOOM! into the sky with you!” Pete wiggled Earlobe Lad’s enormous earlobe. “You ever try flapping these things?”
    Earlobe Lad clutched his big ears and fell into a fetal position. “Why do all of you hate me?” he mumbled.
    “We don’t hate you,” Pete assured him. “We just want you to be a little less worthless in a fight.”
    A few weeks ago Pumpkin Pete had thrown Earlobe Lad off the top of the Sidekick Super Clubhouse and shouted “Fly! Fly!” The next day, King Justice, the leader of the League of Big Justice, made a new rule. When it was Pumpkin Pete’s turn to train the Sidekicks, he had