The Education of Sebastian by Jane Harvey-Berrick

place.
    At 11 PM , David exited his study and headed for the bedroom. I wish I’d remembered to wash the sheets today. Whore.
    I observed dispassionately that he deliberately balled up his clothes and flung them onto my side of the bed, knowing I’d have to get up early to press the pants – again.
    He returned from the bathroom marching with stiff, military precision in his ironed PJs. I had an almost irresistible urge to laugh.
    The sheets were thrown back with disdain and he turned sharply, hauling the bedspread onto his side. How marvelously childish.
    Smiling to myself, I slid between the sheets and dared myself to feel hopeful.
     
    By morning I knew I couldn’t put off facing Sebastian any longer. I suspected that if I waited at home long enough, he’d appear. I probably had a few minutes to dash to the store to buy milk, vegetables and candy.
    I didn’t linger over my purchases, but even so, when I turned into the drive, there he was, sitting huddled in my porch. At least he was hidden from the road.
    My stomach flipped over.
    His eyes lit up when he saw me and he made to stand. I shook my head quickly and luckily he understood.
    As soon as I opened the door, he slid inside unobtrusively. I still hadn’t planned what I was going to say to him. I wasn’t even sure it was possible to plan.
    We stood looking at each other, the door unyielding against my back.
    “Are you okay?” he said at last.
    I nodded slowly. “I guess. You?”
    “I… I had to see you.”
    “Come in,” I said, somewhat reluctantly, pointing towards the kitchen. “Can I get you a coffee?”
    He shook his head.
    This was harder than I’d expected and I’d barely said a word. I sank into a kitchen chair while he continued to stand.
    “I tried to see you yesterday. What happened… after I went? Was it… okay?”
    His voice was low, hesitant.
    “David didn’t suspect, if that’s what you mean.”
    By contrast my voice was unnecessarily harsh.
    Sebastian’s eyes reflected his hurt.
    “Don’t look at me like that.” I said coldly.
    You can do this. You can let him go .
    “Caroline…”
    “What?”
    He took a deep breath.
    “I’ve been thinking about you ever since...” His words came out in a rush. “We can go back East if you like, wherever you want. I can get a job.”
    I stared at him, stunned.
    “We can be together,” he whispered. “Forever.”
    I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry; instead I continued to sit and stare.
    “Caro?”
    Caro? Oh, I liked that… What a lovely dream.
    “Caro!” he said, sounding panicked.
    But just a dream.
    I sat at the table and rested my head in my hands. This wasn’t what I’d expected; it certainly wasn’t how I’d planned the course of the conversation. Where was my resolve to end this?
    I heard a chair scrape across the floor and he sat down next to me.
    His beautiful face, so earnest, was just inches from mine. I straightened up and looked at him directly.
    “Sebastian: I think you’re very sweet but…”
    He cringed as if I’d slapped him.
    “Give me a chance – I know we can make it work, Caro.”
    “No, we can’t. You’re only 17… I could be arrested. I should be arrested! No, listen to me: the other night was…” I hesitated, unable to find the right word. “But the point is, it was wrong.”
    “Not for me.”
    I sighed. Again I recalled the sensation of his body against mine, how good it had felt. Good, bad; wrong, right.
    “Then we’ll wait until I’m 18,” he said defiantly. “It’s not so long. We can be together and no one can stop us.”
    Stupidly tempting .
    “I’m married, Sebastian.” You were married two nights ago. Whore!
    “You don’t love him, Caro.”
    My eyes darted to his. How did he know?
    He sensed a small victory and pursued his advantage, grasping my hand.
    “I love you. I’ll… I’ll do anything, go anywhere. You can do your writing – we’ll be happy.”
    So, so tempting. And his touch: flesh on flesh.
    My