The Prince Charles Letters by David Stubbs

have devised a plan, which I thought I would present to you for your response. I propose, for a few days, to live in the black community disguised as a black man to find out more about how black people live, how they think and feel, in work and at play; observing them at close hand. You know, whenever I meet anyone, they’re always on their best behaviour – it makes me wonder what they would be like if they didn’t know it was one.
    Of course, I know how badly this could possibly backfire: I might accidentally give myself ‘away’, which could be exceedingly embarrassing, or too little care could go into the make-up, leaving me like one of those minstrels about whom many of us now feel absolutely awful. Which is why it’s important that the make-up job be first rate.
    I put the idea to one of my footmen, who it so happens is black, and insofar as it’s possible to gauge the reactions of a man suddenly stricken with a coughing fit, he did not appear to disapprove of the idea. Do you?

    Yours, anxiously
    HRH The Prince of Wales

    Lenny Henry
    The British Broadcasting Corporation
    London
    England
    18 January 1988

    Dear Mr Henry

    Thank you for your response and yes, as you delicately put it, the whole idea does seem potentially catastrophic on a number of levels. Thanks for your honesty, though I must say one isn’t entirely convinced – I so want to ‘help’.

    Yours &c
    HRH The Prince of Wales

    Jimmy Savile
    Leeds General Infirmary
    Leeds
    Yorkshire
    England
    6 March 1992

    Dear Mr Savile

    I don’t think I’ve ever complimented you on the tremendous job you have done in educating people as to the nuances and details of the ‘rock’n’roll’ and ‘pop’ scenes. ‘Ladies and gentlemen, the one and only Tina Charles’, ‘Ladies and gentlemen, the one and only Rod Stewart & The Faces’, ‘Ladies and gentlemen, the one and only Abba’, ‘Ladies and gentlemen, the one and only Bay City Rollers’ … One goes away from your radio broadcasts feeling so much more informed.
    I wonder, therefore, if I might persuade you to help me put together a cassette tape of pop songs, which I intend to present to my wife as a birthday present. I want to show her that I’m ‘with it’ and attuned to modern tastes, but so far all I’ve been able to think of putting on it is the one and only Duran Duran, the one and only Elton John, the one and only Phil Collins and the three and only Three Degrees.
    You have your ear to the ground, you know the ‘scene’ – would you help a fellow out?

    Yours &c
    HRH The Prince of Wales

    Julian Clary
    c/o Channel 4
    Charlotte Street
    London
    England
    18 September 1992

    Dear Mr Clary

    I am writing to congratulate you on your homosexuality. Not everyone would agree with your right to exist as such, especially among the religious communities of whom I am Defender, but I think in time we can all sit together at the table of reasonableness and thrash out some sort of compromise in plain and simple language – free, one hopes, of the ‘double-entendres’ that are your stock in trade!
    I’m writing to you, as one of the leaders of the homosexual community, on what you understand is a purely hypothetical matter. Suppose one harboured the suspicion – no, strike that, impression – that a member of one’s own family were homosexual? What would you advise? Not everyone can ‘come out’ in the way you did – for a start, you might find yourself out of a job if they did!
    To the best of one’s knowledge there hasn’t been a homosexual in the Royal Family in many centuries, since Edward II, and even then, it might have been dramatic licence on the playwright Marlowe’s part. Are we statistically, even genetically, unusual? And if so, what are the odds of the family tree bearing one now? Perhaps we might discuss this matter privately, though still hypothetically, I cannot emphasise enough, at your earliest convenience.

    Yours, man to man
    HRH The Prince of