whoâs not part of theâ¦â
She could almost see him mentally back-pedalling.
âPart of the problem?â she finished grimly.
âSheâs very protective of you.â
âYouâve got to tell me now, Ben.â
Benedict sighed, looked into her lovely face. which was flushed with emotion and tight with tension, and nodded. âGranted. It seems they had this lesson at school where everyone gave a potted biography of their father. When it was Charlieâs turn, she told everyone her father came from a sperm bank.â
âShe what ?â
âI take it this information didnât come from the horseâs mouth?â
âWhat do you think I am?â she gasped.
âItâs what Charlie thinks thatâs the problem.â
âAnd you know what she thinks?â She didnât even bother to hide her antagonism to the idea.
âDonât kill the messenger, Rachel. Shall I make the tea?â he offered, after looking at her pale, drawn features.
âWhy not?â She was redundant in every other wayâwhy shouldnât he take over the domestic tasks too? She knew she was being ungrateful and petulant but for the life of her she couldnât stop it.
âThis particular boy started making some nasty insinuations about yourâ¦erâ¦sexual preferences and, as I said, Charlieâs very protective.â
Rachel closed her eyes and groaned; it got worse. âSheâs never asked about her father.â If she had what would I have told her? she thought. How would I have explained about Raoul?
âDidnât he want to be involvedâ¦?â
âHeâs dead,â she said in a flat, emotionless tone.
âI see.â
Rachel lifted her elbows from the counter and straightened up, glancing at Benedict as she did so. What did he see? A tragedy that had separated young lovers? Whatever he thought it couldnât come close to the truth.
Had she let that youthful disillusionment sour her attitude to men? Where sheâd imagined she was cautious had she actually been distrustful? Had she encumbered her daughter with her own prejudices and insecurities? Had she taken self-reliance too far? The disquieting questions refused to stop.
âMy confidence in my parenting skills has just taken a nosedive.â
âDonât knock what youâve done, Rachel. Charlieâs an exceptional kid. It must have been hard aloneâ¦â
âI wasnât alone,â she put in impatiently. âThe money I inherited from my aunt Janet meant I can live here in relative luxuryânot up to your standards possibly, but most people wouldnât complain. When Charlie was small Aunt Janet was always there for us. It was she who made me continue with my education; I had it easy compared to a lot of single mums. I had a safety netâ¦â
âAnd a sense of proportion?â
âWhat?â She faltered; he looked disconcertingly bored.
âDonât you think youâre going a bit overboard with the unfit parent stuff?â he drawled.
âThatâs rich coming from you,â she gasped incredulously. âYouâve only just finished telling me all the things Iâm doing wrong!â
âRachel, what I know about childcare could be fitted on the back of a postage stamp. Of course Iâm going to tell you you should be expanding your social horizons; itâs in my best interests. We both know Iâve got an ulterior motive.â
âYou have?â Responding at this point might be construed as encouragement but the words that trembled on the tip of her tongue wouldnât be censored.
âI want to be your lover, Rachel.â
âJust like that?â she choked. Sheâd steeled herself for something much cleverer and more subtle. The simple brutality of the truth was totally devastating. She knew her colour was fluctuating in tune with the violent changes in body temperature she