The World's Awesomest Air-Barf by Steve Hartley Page A

Marcel had four stomachs, like a cow, which was why he was able to produce so much of the stuff.
    The largest number of sick–bags filled on a single flight is 390, by the 263 contestants of the Miss Global Warming Beauty Queen
Competition. Halfway through a bumpy flight to Bongandanga, they had managed to fill every sick–bag on the plane. They were then forced to be sick into their posh hats and
handbags.
    Officers from The Great Big Book of World Records went to Bongandanga to measure this extra sick. It filled another 397
sick–bags, making a total of 787.
    Enjoy your visit to Spain.
    Best wishes
    Eric Bibby
    Keeper of the Records
    PS Why isn’t your dad working for his old club, Walchester United? That would be a dream job, wouldn’t it?
     
    Danny and Matthew hurried through the Hotel La Langosta on their way to the beach. They noticed Danny’s mum and sister Natalie just ahead of them.
    ‘Hey, Nits,’ called Danny. ‘Fancy a game of football?’

    ‘As if!’ replied Natalie, scornfully. ‘We’re going shopping.’
    ‘Shopping!’ complained Danny. ‘That’s all girls think about. If this new baby Mum’s going to have is a girl, I’m coming to live at your house,
Matt.’
    They stepped from the cool hotel into the ovenlike heat outside.
    ‘Hot,’ gasped Danny.
    ‘Cool!’ said Matthew.
    The two boys headed for the beach, where the Kids’ Club at the hotel had arranged a game of football.
    It was a great match. The sand was hard and flat, and many of the kids who were playing were pretty good.
    Danny stood in his goalmouth, watching a girl who looked about his age playing for the other team. She was quick, and she did step-overs and back-heels. Matthew was struggling to mark her and,
once, the girl even nutmegged him. Danny could see Matt wasn’t happy.
    She had a shot like a cannon. Several times she blasted a fizzer towards Danny’s goal, but Danny was always equal to it.
    ‘You’re good,’ the girl remarked after Danny had just tipped her diving header around the post.

    ‘You’re brilliant!’ said Danny.
    ‘I play striker for Bunbury Bantams. I scored thirty-one goals last season,’ boasted the girl.
    ‘I saved eighty-seven goals in one game last season!’ replied Danny.
    Towards the end of the game, the ball was played low and fast towards the girl. Matthew was close behind her. She went to control the ball, but at the last moment, lifted her foot and let it
pass by.
    Matthew was completely fooled. The ball sped past him on one side, while the girl slid past him on the other. His legs went in two directions, and he stumbled and landed on his back.
    She was through, with only Danny to beat!
    Danny moved quickly off his line. The girl glanced up, and shaped to blast a shot. Danny stopped and braced himself to dive, but she didn’t shoot. Instead, she chipped the ball high over
Danny’s head.
    He was caught off balance, and had to watch it soar through the clear blue sky and loop down into his empty net.
    GOAL!

    The girl disappeared in a scrum of kids as her team mobbed her.
    Danny knelt on the sand and stared at the ball nestling in the far corner of his goal.
    His goal.
    Matthew joined him. ‘That’s the first time anyone’s scored past you for –’ He thought for a moment.
    ‘ Months! ’ Danny blurted out.
    ‘Fourteen months, three weeks, and . . . five days, to be exact.’
    Danny and Matthew gazed across the sand as the girl broke away from the throng of kids, did a back somersault, and landed nimbly on her feet.
    ‘Wow!’ admired Matthew. ‘I can’t do that.’
    ‘Neither can I,’ admitted Danny. ‘I’d better get practising.’
    She trotted over to them. She had the reddest hair and greenest eyes Danny had ever seen.
    ‘Hiya.’ She grinned. ‘I’m Sally Butterworth. See you later in the pool.’
     
The Girl
    Later that afternoon, Danny and Matthew stood in the shallow end of the hotel pool, playing keepy-uppy headers with a beach ball. They had got