The World's Awesomest Air-Barf

The World's Awesomest Air-Barf by Steve Hartley Page B

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Authors: Steve Hartley
to twenty-one, when Sally
Butterworth launched herself from the edge of the pool and caught the ball in mid-air, before splashing into the water between the two friends.
    ‘Hiya,’ spluttered Sally when she surfaced. She was wearing a pair of red goggles and a snorkel. ‘Watch this.’

    Sally ducked her head beneath the water and blew a towering spout from the snorkel high into the air.
    ‘Wow!’ said Danny and Matthew together. It was one of the best super volcanoes they’d ever seen.

    ‘How high did it go?’ asked Sally.
    ‘About one and a bit metres,’ replied Danny.
    ‘My record’s three metres. No one’s beat it at my school. Bet you can’t beat it either.’
    ‘Bet I can!’ said Danny.
    He grabbed his own snorkel from the side of the pool, took a deep breath, then dipped beneath the water and blew out as hard as he could. He heard the spluttering, farty sound and knew he
hadn’t done it right.
    ‘I won!’ cheered Sally. ‘Want a race? I’ve got the Bunbury Belugas Swimming Club record for the Fastest Length of Butterfly Ever.’
    ‘Do you like trying to break records then?’ asked Danny with a slight tremble in his voice.

    ‘Yeah. I broke the school squinting record last month. Watch this.’
    Sally made her eyes roll to the centre, as though she was looking at something on the end of her nose. Then her right eye drifted across to look away from her. It moved back to the centre, and
her left eye slid across to look away. Then it returned to the middle once more.
    ‘Ace,’ breathed Danny.
    ‘Cool,’ agreed Matthew.
    ‘How long did you squint for when you broke the record?’ asked Danny.
    ‘Nine hours, sixteen minutes and seven seconds,’ answered Sally. ‘It would have been longer, but my mum made me stop.’
    Matthew hit the beach-ball high in the air. ‘Fancy playing a game?’
    ‘Let’s play piggy in the middle,’ replied Sally. She glanced at Matthew. ‘You can be piggy.’
    Matthew grumpily took up position in the centre of the shallow end while the other two went to each side. Sally threw the ball high over Matthew’s head. He stretched, but couldn’t
catch it. Danny returned it, but again Matthew was too short.
    ‘Come on,’ called Sally after several minutes. ‘At this rate you’ll break the record for being the piggy in the middle.’
    ‘I’m fed up with this game,’ replied Matthew. ‘I’m going to the deep end to practise my diving.’

     
The Prawn
    The next morning, Sally Butterworth marched up to Danny and Matthew as they were eating breakfast.
    ‘Hiya, Dan!’ she called. ‘Hiya, Matt.’
    Danny noticed that Sally had a large plaster on her knee.

    ‘How did you do that?’ he asked.
    ‘My frisbee got stuck in a tree, so I climbed up to get it. I scraped my knee as I came down. I’m going to have a massive scab in a couple of days.’
    ‘Ace,’ said Danny.
    ‘Cool . . .’ agreed Matthew reluctantly.
    Sally leaned over and examined Danny’s face.
    ‘Wow! Where did all those freckles come from?’ she exclaimed. ‘You didn’t have those yesterday.’
    ‘I always get zillions of freckles when I’ve been in the sun.’
    ‘Have you ever counted them? It could be a record,’ said Sally.

    Danny’s mouth fell open in amazement. ‘Why didn’t I think of that?’
    ‘Because you’re a boy, and boys don’t think of much, my mum says.’ Sally continued to stare at Danny’s face. ‘Would you like me to count them?’
    ‘Counting’s my job,’ insisted Matthew.
    Sally began to count anyway. After a while she said, ‘You know, Danny, we could try to break the world record for the Longest Kiss.’
    Danny glanced anxiously at Matthew. ‘Matt, I think you had better do the freckle counting.’
    Matthew grabbed Danny and pulled him away. ‘We’ve got to go,’ he told Sally.
    ‘See you later, Dan,’ she called as the boys raced away.
    ‘Kissing!’ said Matthew. ‘Gross!’
    ‘Yeah,’ agreed Danny. ‘Girl-germs!

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