Waterways by Kyell Gold

the card. “He used to be a priest. He felt he could better serve by leaving the Church, though it was a hard decision for him. He’s a good wolf.”
    Kory stared at the card. He could read the words Dignity/USA on it, but nothing else from his position on the chair. He made no move to pick it up. “You’re supposed to tell me I’m going to hell if I give in.”
    “Yes, I suppose, but if you knew that, you wouldn’t have needed to come see me.” The sheep looked shrewdly at him. “You came here to ask my help, and it may not be what you wanted to hear, but it’s the best I can do. In this day and age, it’s not a crime to be gay. The best thing you can do is find out whether the Lord made you that way. Popular culture gives us all sorts of ideas that might be right for us or they might not. It might just be that in meeting a gay person for the first time, you’re curious about what it’s like. Or it could be that for the first time, you’re opening yourself to something that’s been hidden in you all along. What’s important is that you find out what God’s plan for you is. Remember the Gospel of John?” He grinned when Kory shook his head. “Upon seeing a blind man, the disciples asked Jesus whether the man was blind because of his sins, or the sins of his parents, and Jesus told them it was neither, that he was blind ‘that the works of God may be made manifest in him.’ Jesus was saying that his affliction was not a punishment but a part of God’s plan.”
    “But doesn’t that mean that it’s something I should fight? I mean, don’t blind people want to see?”
    “They do, but sight may not be granted to them. In that case, of course, it was; Jesus healed the man and restored his sight. But I don’t think homosexuality is an affliction.” Kory winced at the word. “Yes, God does set trials for us. But I believe God loves us, and the trials he sets for us are designed to make us better people. I have seen the ordeals some people go through trying to fight their own nature. I do not believe that those trials are set by God.”
    “Then why would He do this to me?” Kory hated to hear himself whine, usually.
    “It is not for us to know God’s plan,” Father Joe said. “It is for us to live the best we can. Please take the card, Kory. They can help you more than I will be able to.”
    Kory reached out and took the card in his fingers. It had a name and a web URL on it. He slipped it into a pocket and stood up. “Thanks, I guess,” he said. He’d been hoping for more, something definite, something supportive, rather than just vague ‘we can’t know what God wants for us.’
    “One more thing, Kory. I just want you to hear again: God loves us. Maybe this is His way of showing you love.”
    Unable to think of a response other than to repeat his thanks, Kory did so, and walked out.
    Sal had invited him out to celebrate the end of his grounding, but he put him off ’til dinner. He wanted to be away from people he knew, and in the water. Samaki worked Saturday afternoons, so the municipal pool would be safe. Rather than swimming and racing through the lanes, he floated on his back with his paws behind his head and closed his eyes. Here, it was peaceful, and with his ears under the water, he couldn’t hear the shrieking of the guppies running around. The water helped settle his thoughts, helped him organize and sort through them. He kicked lazily off of one wall, paddled gently to the other, turned around without using his arms, and kicked off again. For over an hour he drifted back and forth, tail waving lazily in the water below him.
    He couldn’t believe that Father Joe hadn’t offered to help him fight. It was wrong, he knew it was wrong, and it was wrong of him to want it.
    Wasn’t it?
    The black fox’s image floated before his eyelids. He hadn’t pressured Kory at all, except with his eyes, and his sleek black form, and that tempting patch of white fur… and that long, fluffy tail