What a Girl Needs by Kristin Billerbeck Page B

I smile at Seth. “So how’s everything? It looks like you’ve adapted well to being a father.”
    “The marriage isn’t good.” He doesn’t look at me while he says this. He’s got his eyes on Toby, who is running along a stack of two-by-fours. “Isn’t it obvious?”
    “No,” I lie. “You probably need a vacation. I forgot how frowned upon a vacation is when you live in Silicon Valley. It’s like you’re not allowed to take a break or you’ll be replaced. Give Arin a respite. Can’t be easy staying home with a little one all day.”
    “That’s not what I meant.”
    I know that, but I don’t want to go there. Seth looks older than his years. He’s a ghost of himself, and I knew immediately that his marriage was not good, but I don’t want to hear confirmation. “Has Toby started in on any sports yet? T-ball? Soccer?” My attempt at changing the subject.
    “I made a mistake, Ashley,” he blurts.
    “Haven’t we all?” I say casually as I stare straight ahead at Sam and wonder how he manages to stay in the most expensive real estate market in the country without ever doing a day’s work.
    “No, I mean I made a mistake marrying Arin.”
    I turn back to Seth. “No, Seth. This is just a rough time.” Just like when we were dating, Seth continues to throw the friend card in my face. Not that I mind now, but I do wonder why he can’t ever talk to Arin. What am I supposed to do for them? I have a natural inclination to want to fix things – and granted, I may mess them up more often than I fix them, but I do try. And there is nothing I can do about this, so I fail to see the point of hearing about it.
    He shakes his head. “It’s more than that.”
    “Then, fix it.” I notice how Seth is always the victim. Nothing is ever his responsibility and how convenient I made myself. Gosh, I’m a dolt. No wonder he kept me around, buzzing like a bee around someone else’s honey. Pathetic.
    “She never loved me. You all knew that, didn’t you? I see the way everyone looks at me when we’re here. Like , Poor Seth, he doesn’t know any better .”
    “I have to get your son’s chicken nuggets out of the oven.”
    “Ash?” He gives me his best puppy dog eyes.
    Seriously, you are not having this pity party with me, Seth . “No one is doing any such thing. Arin married you. She’s having your child. What other proof do you need? Do you want her to have a parade set up every time you enter a room?”
    Seth wags his head. “I provide everything for her, and she suddenly wants to go back to work and have some daycare raise our children. Why? When she has a choice? Don’t women beg to stay at home?”
    “Not all of them.” I stick my fingers in my ears like I’m Toby’s age. “Seth, I don’t think this conversation is appropriate. I have no idea why she wants to go back to work, but have you asked her? Rather than me?. Maybe she’s not the stay-at-home type.”
    “Then why did she get married? She could have been a single mother and worked to her heart’s content.”
    “Seth, didn’t you have this conversation before you got married?”’
    “Yeah,” he says angrily before a pause. “Maybe not.”
    Seth looks past me with his thoughtful gaze. Seriously, what did he expect he and Arin were going to discuss at night, string theory? Of course they had nothing in common. He went for the package. Surprise, the package doesn’t contain a quantum physicist. I mean, Arin’s smart. She’s educated. She’s a believer, but she’s not…I don’t know…aware that a world exists outside of her?
    All of Arin’s missionary work, all of her contact with the church, it was all on a shallow level. No one ever really got to know her, but that’s who she is. ‘That’s what you chose, Seth. Take some responsibility and ownership, for crying out loud.”
    His far-off gaze returns to me. “Ashley.” He steps toward me.
    Why does every conversation I have with Seth make me want to bang my head