What He Desires by Violet Haze

 
     
     
     
     
     
    CHAPTER ONE
     
    ~Present~
     
    I don’t know what’s real anymore.
    I’m surrounded by people and they are all chattering.
    Someone’s fixing my hair while another is doing my nails as I sit here, silent as I mull the options available to me.
    I want to panic and run.
    Stand up and say I made a mistake.
    Express how sorry I am and make a dash for the exit.
    But I can’t.
    Because I don’t break promises.
    And I agreed to this.
    I consented to a year and now I am stuck.
    I have to do this or I’ll lose everything that matters to me.
    I mean, a year isn’t that long.
    At least, that’s what I keep telling myself.
    I just hope I don’t lose something else in the process.
    Like my heart.
    Or my life.
    ~*~
    Three Weeks Before…
     
    Tobias’ lips devour mine.
    He caught me when I ran, after he revealed his knowledge of my disguise all along.
    I kissed him after he’d declared his victory so I wouldn’t say something I shouldn’t.
    And in this moment, I want it to continue. I want his touch so badly I hurt.
    It’s been two days and I ache.
    Between the kiss he’s giving me now and the memories of the sex we had, my body is on fire.
    But I don’t know if it’s sex in general I want, or sex with him.
    Either way, I’m screwed and not in the way I like.
    I pull my mouth away from his and turn my face to the side.
    I suppose he thinks I’m taking a break because he starts kissing down the side of my neck and rocks into me, making it very clear that I’m what he needs right this second.
    What he desires.
    I wish I could give it to him, as well as take what I want and need.
    But I can’t.
    I’ve never slept with a person more than once, and even though I’ve given up my nights out as Luna, I don’t think I’m ready to change my rules. Even for him.
    No. Scratch that. Especially for him.
    “I can’t do this,” I whisper. “Let me go.”
    He stops long enough to ask, “Can’t?” Then, he gives my neck a quick lick that causes a shiver to run through me before he inquires, “Or won’t?”
    “Both, damn you.” I don’t have to repeat my request for him to let me go though. He backs off, releasing me from my imprisonment against the wall even as his hands grip my upper arms.
    “Steady?” I nod and he removes his hands, turning back toward the study. “I believe we still have business to discuss.”
    After a few moments, I follow him and he’s sitting behind the desk when I enter. He looks up at me as I take a seat.
    “Tell me why I should help you,” he says as he pulls a file filled with papers out of a drawer. “You said it was your fathers’ business, but I learned you and him hadn’t spoken in years before he died. Why is that?”
    I curl my hands into fists. How is it so possible for a man who almost had me begging him to fuck me moments before able to piss me off so quickly?
    “The issues I had with my father are none of your concern.” I point at the documents on his desk. “You saw the trouble my father was in before I got here. I have improved the way the place runs immensely. The problem is all the money he owed before his death has been eating what little profit I am making.”
    He nods. “Fair enough.” He leans forward, clasping his hands together as he frowns. “Here’s the thing. You need more money than someone just taking over this loan for you.”
    My stomach drops even as I keep the worry from showing on my face. I’ve feared hearing someone say that. I’d been doing what I could, but I’ve known that my troubles were more than I could possibly handle.
    “You will have trouble finding any lender who will buy out your loan, let alone give you enough extra money to pay all these collectors. Not with the way these documents show continual losses.” He sits back and folds his arms. “How have you been paying your personal bills? You can barely pay what little staff you have.”
    Reminding myself that he said he may be able to help so I need to