When Harry Met Sally by Nora Ephron

rounds over who’s going to get this coffee table, this stupid wagon-wheel, Roy Rogers, garage-sale coffee table.
    JESS     I thought you liked it.
    HARRY     
(still shouting)
    I was being nice.
    Harry slams out the door
.
    Sally looks at Jess and Marie
.
    SALLY     He just bumped into Helen.
    Sally goes out the door, leaving Jess and Marie
.
    MARIE     I want you to know that I will never want that wagon-wheel coffee table.
    CUT TO :
    EXT. JESS AND MARIE’S APARTMENT—DAY

Harry is sitting on the stoop. Sally comes down the steps
.
    HARRY     I know, I know. I shouldn’t have done that.
    SALLY     Harry, you’re going to have to try and find a way of not expressing every feeling that you have every moment that you have them.
    HARRY     Oh, really.
    SALLY     Yes. There are times and places for things.
    HARRY     Well, the next time you’re giving a lecture series in social graces, would you let me know, ’cause I’ll sign up.
    SALLY     You don’t have to take your anger out on me.
    HARRY     Oh, I think I’m entitled to throw a little anger your way. Especially when I’m being told how to live my life by Miss Hospital Corners.
    SALLY     What is that supposed to mean?
    HARRY     I mean, nothing bothers you. You never get upset about anything.
    SALLY     Don’t be ridiculous.
    HARRY     What? You never get upset about Joe. I neversee that back up on you. How is that possible? Don’t you experience any feelings of loss?
    SALLY     I don’t have to take this crap from you.
    Sally storms back to the building. Harry follows
.
    HARRY     If you’re so over Joe, why aren’t you seeing anyone?
    SALLY     I see people.
    HARRY     See people? Have you slept with
one
person since you broke up with Joe?
    SALLY     What the hell does that have to do with anything? That will prove that I’m over Joe? Because I fuck somebody? Harry, you’re going to have to move back to New Jersey because you’ve slept with everybody in New York, and I don’t see that turning Helen into a faint memory for you. Besides, I will make love to someone when it’s making love, not the way you do it, like you’re out for revenge or something.
    HARRY     Are you finished now?
    SALLY     Yes.
    HARRY     Can I say something?
    SALLY     Yes.
    HARRY     I’m sorry.
    He walks over and gives her a hug
.
    They walk back up the steps toward the house. Jess passes them, coming down the stairs carrying out the wagon-wheel coffee table
.
    JESS     Don’t say a word.
    CUT TO :
    INT. JESS AND MARIE ’s APARTMENT—NIGHT

It’s all furnished now, very comfortable, not lavish. A corduroy couch, lots of books and records, a couple of quilts hanging over the backs of
chairs. No wagon-wheel coffee table. A game of Win, Lose or Draw is in progress. Sally’s team consists of Harry, Alice, and Jess. EMILY, Harry’s date, is snuggled up against him. Alice’s husband, GARY, Marie, and JULIAN, Sally’s date, are part of the other team
.
    Sally is feverishly drawing what is supposed to be a baby
.
    JESS     It’s a monkey. It’s a monkey. Monkey see, monkey do.
    Sally shakes her head no and keeps drawing
.
    JESS     ( CONT’D )    It’s an ape. Going ape.
    ALICE     It’s a baby.
    Sally nods yes
.
    JESS     
Planet of the Apes
.
    Sally writes the word “BABY” on the paper. She continues to draw what looks like a big mouth
.
    HARRY     
Planet of the Apes
. She just said it’s a baby. How about planet of the dopes?
    JESS     It