When Past & Present Collide: WP&PC by Sarah Hardy

room as the doors opened, we hadn’t even entered and the hunger for information was evident on their faces, they couldn’t be more obvious if they tried.
    Everyone had wanted that one picture. The one demeaning picture to see what I looked like. To see my weakness. I knew the questions they had asked themselves before I had even entered the room.
    Had I done my hair and make-up? Were my clothes washed and ironed? Had I lost weight? Did my eyes look tired and over used? And the main one: was I coping? No was the simple answer and to add insult to injury I was sat here in a fucking wheelchair.
    Lost and fucking broken.
    Chief S uperintendent Marshall had opened the door while Chief Constable Jones led the way. As we entered the flashes of light were hurting my eyes. I tried to shield them by bowing my head completely, but I wanted the bastard to see me. The psycho that had destroyed my entire world. I wanted them to see me. To see what they were doing. To see the tortuous look across my face. But I couldn’t, my chin dropped to my chest in utter defeat.
    They had mentioned we would have more police officers present here today , as they were expecting some trouble from the press, as questions could escalate out of control and they needed to make sure the reason we were here, were for the right ones.
    As Beth wheeled me over towards the table and chairs that where organised at the front of the room, I took a deep breath as strong arms took a hold of me and tried to help me stand, my legs were slowly giving out on me, but thankfully they never let go.
    I noticed the bastards getting the opportunity to picture me at my lowest , the most degrading time of my life. I didn’t care, they could picture me fall and break as long as the outcome worked in our favour.
    I was placed in the chair and my head automatically bowed. My neck ac hed when this happened. Mind you, everything at this point ached. Tim asked if I was okay. What a stupid fucking question. Do I look okay? Was anything okay about this whole situation I was in?
    My breathing was coming fast and I thought I could feel perspiration over my entire body but I knew this wasn’t the case as I knew I was to o dehydrated.
    I had heard them talking about me last night. Soft buggers forgot I had a baby monitor in there which was left on twenty four – seven. They had all sat there discussing my health and welfare, I knew they were getting concerned about what would happen if I didn’t eat soon, but didn’t they realise it never mattered if I ate or not? It would only come back up.
    I knew I was dehydrating at a fast pace. What did they expect to happen? For me to smile and go on with my daily life? Maybe that’s what they had expected, but they don’t know me. They don’t realise family is all I have. I don’t give two hoots about the business or the money, just my family.
    I had blanked out for most of the conference as my body and mind couldn’t function properly , but then a question was asked. The one question that I had dreaded and knew no one would dare risk the word while in my company. But these were hound dogs and they wanted information.
    “Do you think after five days we are looking at a murder investigation?”
    My heart stopped beating as my head tried to lift up to look into the eyes of the man who had dared ask that question, but before I could even acknowledge him every fear I ever had consumed my entire being. Every image I had blocked away tumbled into the forefront of my mind and I never wanted to know the answer, I needed out.
    I tried to lift myself out of the chair, but my legs were too weak , I tumbled as the chair toppled over, the bile was rising up and I was desperately trying to scramble myself back up but my body was too frail. Jacob and Beth quickly took my arms as I was gagging. The lights were shining too brightly, my eyes were stinging from the shock my body was going into and before anything else could happen, my entire world turned