Whiskey Girl by Maggie Casper

look she saw in the mirror each morning. “It’s a pretty
typical reaction, and in a way I’ve been there.”
    The past two years had been so hard on
Ausha she hadn’t considered hearing about someone else’s loss. Dealing with her
own, or in her case, ignoring it, had been overwhelming enough. Helping someone
else with theirs wasn’t even a consideration. Until now. There was just
something about Detective Doug Pennington and his legendary stubbornness that
made her want to know every little detail of his life.
    “Will you tell me?”
    Doug nodded then nudged her until she was
once again lying with her back to his front. His arm was wrapped around her
middle and kept her pulled snug to him. If she wasn’t mistaken, the hand palming
her abdomen trembled slightly. Before he even spoke the first word, Ausha’s
eyes were full of tears. She took a deep, shuddering breath, unsure what to
expect.
    “Antonio Parelli had been my best friend
since grade school. We did everything together. When he found out he was
terminal with cancer, I think I was as devastated as Andrea, his wife, was.
From the minute they’d met, Andrea had accepted my friendship and was always
graceful in inviting me into their family.”
    He rubbed her stomach then. Ausha wasn’t
sure if the motion was as soothing for him as it was for her. Her mind was
already conjuring up all sorts of very bad stuff.
    “One day I stopped by, as usual, to see how
Antonio was doing or if they needed anything. By this time, he was dealing with
a lot of pain and coming to terms with the fact that he wasn’t going to last
much longer. He was scared to leave Andrea alone. That was when he asked me if
I would step into his place once he was gone.”
    Ausha sucked in a breath. That was not at
all what she’d been expecting. “Oh damn.”
    “Yeah, tell me about it.” Doug pulled her
tighter to him then tucked the top of her head beneath his chin. At that point,
Ausha would have attempted to twist herself into a pretzel had she thought it
would help him or make him feel better.
    “I didn’t know what to say at first. I had
always found Andrea attractive but only in a sisterly fashion. To contemplate
more felt entirely wrong to me. Antonio, however, was adamant. He was worried
sick about what would happen to Andrea. The emotion in his voice would have
been enough to sway anyone. Before leaving that day, I promised him I would
take care of Andrea and that he didn’t have to worry about her.”
    Doug was silent then. The only sound heard
in the room was the breath he took before speaking again. Tears streamed down
Ausha’s cheek and into her hair. His pain was palpable. She wanted to fix it,
to make it go away.
    “He thanked me profusely, crying and
hugging me. Late that night I got a call. It was all over. He’d died and I’d
made a promise I had absolutely no clue how to keep.”
    “Oh God, Doug. I’m so sorry.” And she meant
it. The last couple of years had been hard on her, a time when she couldn’t
bring herself to help others or to even consider their pain. “What did you do?”
    When he looked away she knew he was having
a hard time finishing the story. “It’s okay if you want to stop now.” Ausha ran
a soothing hand across his hip.
    “We took care of the funeral arrangements
together and then I did as I’d promised. I took care of her the best I knew how
to.” He moved away then, sitting on the edge of the bed. “We even got together
for a while, like a couple. I knew it was hard on her, especially at first.
When I told her about the promise I’d made Antonio, I thought she was going to
leave me, but she didn’t. I worked hard so she understood I had fallen in love
with her, the woman, and not as my best friend’s wife who I’d promised to take
care of.”
    “I’m sure she knew, Doug.” He was a good,
caring and honest man how could she not, Ausha thought silently.
    “I thought so too. She seemed to be doing
well, going out with friends