Why Do I Have to Think Like a Man? by Rhonda Frost Shanae Hall Page A

has or how cute he is, the best we can ever be is friends.
    After you list all of your wants and needs, you should split them into two columns and list the negotiable on one side and the nonnegotiable on the other side. Now have fun and fill in the names of guys that are on your list and see how closely they really match up to your requirements. You may be surprised how they look on paper.
    Example: Moral/Spiritual

    This section is really all about your personal preference. However, it is definitely important that you ask the right questions about a person’s history. For instance, if the man that you are seeing was exposed to violence as a kid; he is more likely to show abusive tendencies in your relationship. This section is really going to take a little more effort.
    Identifying what you want in a man is pertinent to your success in finding a healthy relationship. When I was fifteen years old, I made a chart very similar to the one that follows. Of course at fifteen, my wish list lacked some of the more important qualities. My requirements at the time were:

    Lo and behold the man of my dreams had all the qualities on my list. He was tall, handsome, an athlete, had great teeth, a beautiful smile, and he had a car. Wow! But, he was also crazy! So make sure when you’re putting your list together to add things like at peace, happy with himself, not needy or insecure, educated, and other important characteristics. You get the point. You want the Universe to put together the perfect man, leave no stone unturned. Write all of your wants down on paper and let the Universe do the rest.
    Once you have been sent the man of your dreams, “The game” begins. Remember our earlier talk about how gambling CEOs and gaming commissioners get together to devise a plan that will ensure the best house advantage? Well, that’s the next step—creating a game plan to your advantage.
    The Dating Game
    Let’s assume he likes you and you like him. What do you do from here? You start dating. The first few dates are crucial to the direction of the relationship. It is in the beginning of the relationship that you must establish (1) your expectations, (2) what you are willing to sacrifice, and (3) what kind of time and attention you demand. Make sure your first date is somewhere that you will enjoy. If he thinks Red Lobster is the spot and you’re thinking hell no, say that, in a polite way. Let him know when you don’t like something and more important that he shouldn’t expect to sleep with you on the first date.
    I remember one time a platonic friend of mine that I had known for a while asked me to fly to Jamaica with him for the weekend. I needed to think about his question for a minute and told him that I would call him back. When I called him back, I asked him if we were going to have separate rooms. He paused for a moment and said, “Well, I didn’t really think about that, but honestly, I can’t see going to Jamaica with you and you sleeping in another room.” I made it clear I didn’t want to lose our friendship by becoming intimate. Because I expressed that we would have to have separate rooms, and he was honest about his intentions, we both agreed that Jamaica was probably not a good spot for platonic friends to go hang out. The more up front and honest you and your friends or potential partners are with each other, the faster the relationship will progress in the right direction.
    Recently we interviewed a couple that had been married for eleven years. I asked the husband how he knew she was the one. The wife started laughing and said, “Tell her how you went from six girlfriends to one.” He told us that his wife’s standards were so high, that slowly, the other girls began to fall off because he couldn’t afford her and everyone else. She ended up being the last woman standing and won the prize. Setting your standards and sticking to them will help you reach your relationship goals. It is also important to have an idea