Wounded by God's People by Anne Graham Lotz

could no longer help me in any way again. I was so caught off guard that I was stunned. She was effectively severing our relationship. At themoment I was incapable of doing anything except just sitting and staring at her, utterly speechless. While I had no words to respond, I was truly amazed by the irony. Because my friend could clearly see the sin of unforgiveness at work in the lives of her siblings, yet she seemed totally blind to her own unwillingness to forgive me for what she felt were past hurts. My mind reeled in confusion and consternation as I wondered what sin in my life I was blind to that had hurt her to such an extreme that she would take this action.
    If my friend’s purpose in meeting with me was to wound me as she felt I had wounded her, she succeeded. But what was really accomplished? Instead of continuing our conversation and seeking reconciliation, she broke our relationship, an action that I believe grieved the heart of God. And it was carried out within moments of requesting prayer for reconciliation in her own family. That’s blindness. Spiritual macular degeneration.
    I came away from that meeting more determined than ever to have my own eyes opened to the plank that must have been there. I couldn’t help but wonder what I had done to wound her, and if I had wounded her so deeply, could it be I was also wounding others without knowing it? I did not, and do not, want to suffer from spiritual macular degeneration. Especially when it results in hurting someone else.
    In spite of the fact that I want to “see,” I’ve found it difficult, if not impossible, to open my own eyes. I know I have blind spots, but I just can’t see them. Actually, that’s why they are called blind spots. So this past year, following the meeting with my friend and in preparation for leading a revival, I decided to ask God to do for me what the Angel of the Lord did for Hagar. I asked Him to show me my blindspots. And He did. At least He showed me some of them. I am quite sure there are more.
    When I asked God to shine the light of His truth deep into my heart, I had to make the time for Him to do so. Practically, this meant that I spent a significant portion of each and every day for about two months searching for anything that was not pleasing to Him. To help me focus, I used a spiral-bound book that had been given to me by a friend and was developed to deepen and enrich a believer’s prayer life. 5 In the book were several lists: Names of sins. Categories of sins. Definitions of sins. Antidotes to sins. Confessions of sins. Forgiveness for sins with hundreds of Scripture references. It was exactly what I needed to help me see.
    Because God is faithful and able to open the eyes of the blind, He answered my prayer. He opened my eyes as I read through the lists of sins … meditating on just a few every day. When I worked my way through all of the lists, I went back and worked my way through them again. Then I did it for a third time. I can tell you it was not pleasant. It was not comfortable. In fact, it was painful and required courage even to look at myself the way God was revealing me to be in His eyes. But it was also deeply cleansing. And corrective. And very freeing.
    While I won’t share with you the various sins that God pinpointed in my life, I will share one, because I had been so totally blind to it. It was listed in the category of “control,” which is sin that dishonors God’s sovereignty. And there is was
: perfectionism
. It stopped me cold. I froze when my eyes came to it in my first reading of the list. I didn’t need to read the list three times to know that was me. I’m a perfectionist. But I had never considered that to be a sin. In fact, I had thought it was a strength as it challenges me to strive for excellence,and in turn, I have challenged my family and those I work with to strive for excellence also. But what I had never seen is that my