Wounded by God's People by Anne Graham Lotz Page A

perfectionism, taken to the extreme, had been used to control others. While focused on the speck in the eyes of others, I had ignored the plank in my own. As my sin came clearly into focus, I immediately, earnestly confessed it and told the Lord how very sorry I was for having dishonored His sovereignty in such a manner. Then I humbly asked Him to heal those I had unconsciously wounded as a result.
    Like me, and perhaps like you, Hagar had been focused on the speck of sawdust — Sarah’s wrongdoing —while ignoring the plank of arrogance in her own life. So God’s instructions to Hagar were clear, comforting, but corrective and firm: “Go back to your mistress and submit to her… . I will so increase your descendants that they will be too numerous to count.” 6 In other words,
Hagar, the only way to resolve this entire mess is to refocus. You’re missing the obvious. You’re not responsible for “fixing” Sarah. She may never acknowledge that what she did to you was wrong. But you are responsible for your own words and behavior. You must turn around. Go back. Humble yourself. Face the consequences. If you do, Hagar, I will bless you, your son, your grandchildren, and your future generations immeasurably. I will give you an honored place in history. Because I not only care about your wound, Hagar, I care about you
.
    Amazingly, Hagar did turn around. Not petulantly, reluctantly, or with hesitation, but with the joy of knowing that not just Abraham, but now
she herself—
an Egyptian slave — had a personal relationship with the living God, the Creator of the Universe! Her wounded heart was filled with the wonder of His grace and love and personal attention as she exclaimed, “You are the God who sees me… I have now seen the One who sees me.” 7 The blind spot was gone, and her vision was 20/20!
    The Bible describes the turnaround as repentance. For me, like Hagar, it wasn’t enough just to have a name for my blind spot. It wasn’t enough to have had a fresh encounter with the One who sees me, inside and out. I had to turn around. While I did choose to repent, carrying through on that decision has been an ongoing effort as I work out the practical application. Because I’m still a perfectionist. But I have had to train myself to see the difference between excellence and control, giving those around me, including myself, the freedom to fail and fall short of my standards. I find myself continually tested on my willingness to let go of control while still lifting up the standard of excellence. They are tests that, by God’s grace and power, I want to pass. One by one. Day by day. Until I overcome the sin that has been so blinding. But to pass those tests, I must be willing to turn around. To repent of my sin. To stop it.
    What about you? Have you acknowledged your sin that you now see, but you have yet to turn around? Until you are willing to repent of your sin, you will never overcome it. And you will miss the blessing that God has for you. Repentance is vital if you and I are to successfully continue on our journey to healing.
    Wounded people need to repent of their sin. And the wounders need to repent also. Sarah herself had suffered from a severe case of spiritual macular degeneration. One can only imagine the look on her face when Hagar returned. Consternation. Anger. Guilt. Misery. I wonder if the shock of seeing Hagar jolted Sarah’s vision so that she also began to see more clearly. She had been the one who suggested to Abraham that he have a child by Hagar. Yet when Hagar became pregnant and arrogantly despised her barren mistress, Sarahillogically, unreasonably, and blindly pointed an accusing finger at Abraham: “You are responsible for the wrong I am suffering.” 8 Sarah blamed her husband for a situation she herself had arranged! It might seem ludicrous if it wasn’t so much like what all of us do when we allow our wounds