Amish Christmas Joy by Patricia Davids Page B

prideful and vain. We are all as God has made us, and we must accept that, flaws and all. True beauty shines from the heart, not from our faces.”
    “I try to accept it as God’s will. You would think by now it wouldn’t cross my mind, but I can’t help how I feel.”
    Leah hesitated and chose her next words carefully. “Acceptance follows forgiveness. Have you forgiven Caleb for the accident that injured you?”
    “Of course I have,” she said quickly. Too quickly. There was no sincerity in her voice. “I just wish he would leave. It was better when he wasn’t around.” She started crying again. Leah held her tight and let her weep out her unhappiness.
    The inability to find forgiveness was a trait both sisters shared. Leah thought about Caleb and Joy and about his struggle to do what was right for the child. He wasn’t a cruel or careless man. Perhaps he hadn’t been cruel and careless in the past. Maybe he had only been a frightened boy who couldn’t face a man’s responsibilities.
    No matter what he had done or why, the Savior had died on the cross for his sins. Who was she to say it wasn’t enough?
    * * *
     
    Caleb was at home when his parents returned with Joy late in the evening. He walked out to meet them.
    Joy climbed out of the buggy. “I have a new friend, Daddy. Her name is Anna.”
    “That’s good. Did you meet lots of new kids?”
    “They didn’t make fun of me, not even once.”
    “And why should they?” Ike asked as he helped Maggie out of the buggy.
    “’Cause I’m not smart. I’m not good at games, and lots of times the kids call me stupid and other bad names.”
    The memory of such times took the light from his daughter’s eyes. Caleb exchanged a speaking glance with his father. Maybe now he would understand why he had brought her here.
    Ike pulled a large basket with handles from the backseat. “There will be no name-calling from the children in our church. If this should happen, you must tell me at once so that I can speak to their parents. Now, take this inside and help your grandmother put our lunch things away.
    Joy took the basket. It was almost bigger than she could manage. She hefted it higher and followed Maggie into the house.
    Caleb took hold of the horse’s bridle. “I’ll put Bobby away.”
    To Caleb’s surprise, his father didn’t go inside. Instead, he stood by and watched as Caleb unhitched the black gelding. As he led the horse to his stall, his father followed and stood outside the pen. Once Caleb had unbuckled the bellyband and the collar, he lifted the harness off Bobby and set it on the boards.
    Ike took it and hung it on the pegs made to hold it. “Your daughter seems to like it here. The place she came from, it sounds like she was unhappy there.”
    Caleb picked up a brush and began to rub down the horse. “I don’t think Joy has met with much kindness in her life. Handicapped children are not always welcomed in the Englisch world. Some see them as a burden.”
    Ike stopped working and stared at Caleb. “And how do you see her?”

Chapter Seven
     
    C aleb stopped brushing and looked over the animal’s back at his father. “You mean do I see Joy as a burden?”
    Ike began to wipe down the harness pieces with an oiled rag. “You bring her to us and say you intend to leave. What are we to think?”
    “I’m sure it looks like I’m trying to get rid of her. I don’t know. Maybe that is what I’m doing. I wasn’t prepared to have a child, let alone one with Joy’s special needs. I tried to manage, but the harder I tried the more difficult she became. She hid from me. She ran away. She kept trying to go back to where her grandmother lived because she thought her mother would come find her there. I lived in constant fear that she would disappear and I wouldn’t be able to find her.”
    “This fear I know well. I have lived with it for many years.”
    Shame welled up in Caleb. “I have done some things that I’m not proud of in my life, but