Chameleon Soul (Chequered Flag #1) by Mia Hoddell

after me. This time though, the panic came in the form of rage. I couldn’t allow him out of the building with me in case someone saw us, and I refused to let him see me fall apart again.
    I whirled in his direction, and my hair flicked me in the face when it whipped around after me. “No. You stay here. I don’t want or need my picture all over the gossip magazines again. I can’t handle that kind of attention, Teo, and they follow you around like you’re a friggin’ prince. That’s not what I need in my life.”
    “Is that why you ended things? Because you couldn’t cope with the media?”
    “I ended things because I wanted to. That’s all there is to it.”
    Hurt clouded his eyes, and he took a step back like I’d punched him. I hadn’t meant the words to come out so harsh, yet my survival instincts were overriding all sense of compassion. All I needed was to get out of the situation with as little attention as possible. It was clear Teo wasn’t going to let me go without hurting him, so it was a necessary solution, something that was becoming too common between us.
    He stepped to close the gap between us and I backpedalled again, holding my hands up in front of me.
    “Please, Teo. Let me go.” A ball of emotions lined with metal barbs had latched itself into the back of my throat, making it impossible to swallow.
    Teo folded his arms. “Fine, but this isn’t over. I’m not going to give up, Raine. I know you’re lying and I’m going to find out why.”
    Not allowing myself to consider the true meaning of his words, I strode away. I only paused slightly to call over my shoulder, “Don’t look for answers you won’t be able to deal with, Teo. And tell Dustin I’m sorry.”
    When I reached the exit and opened the door, there was thankfully no one in sight, so instead of fleeing to my car I leaned back against the wall. Tilting my head towards the sky, I gazed up at the few clouds staining the pale blue canvas.
    “The sky is blue, the grass is green. I’m wearing yellow.” I took a deep breath. “The tarmac is black, my hair is brown,” I muttered under my breath, grounding myself in reality to stop my mind wandering. With every colour I listed, my heart slowed a little more and my posture relaxed. My shoulders loosened, as did every other muscle in my body.
    The longer I remained against the wall, the more I started to regret my decision to leave. I had been doing great until Teo showed up, and I wanted to see Dustin win, because I was sure he would. Tapping my foot impatiently, I bounced up and down, trying to figure out what I should do.
    I wanted to be done playing slave to my fears. The gaps between attacks were lessening on their own, but I wanted them gone completely. To be able to walk the streets like a normal person, or leave the house after dark, would have been a dream come true. I never used to be such a mess. At one point I had been a typical twenty-two-year-old. I loved going out with my friends and not having a care in the world. I was independent and I was able to fend for myself.
    That one night had stripped me of all that in seconds. Even some shadows in the daylight still sent nervous skitters down my spine if I was alone.
    My life had been transformed into an existence where there were few things I could handle doing alone. I was forced to blend in and hide, and I was sick of being the chameleon. I would have broken free long ago if it was possible…I’d tried. However, today felt like the first real step forward with interaction around people. Teo had touched me and I hadn’t panicked. I had to admit that small spaces and being caged in were still major triggers, but baby steps, right?
    The point was, he touched me and I liked it.
    It created both fear and joy, because that meant Dustin was right. Even if my mind didn’t known it, my body sure did. I still loved Teo and I’d never stopped. That small touch had reignited the longing I thought I’d broken through over the