If You Still Want Me by CE Kilgore

him, I want him and I aint leavin' this hotel 'till
he either accepts what I can give him or he knocks me
unconscious.
    God, please let him choose the option that
includes us gettin' naked.
    "Austin," I sigh right back in a tease. Sliding
my hand on top of his, I ease the card up and down in the slot,
nice and slow. The light goes green, making me grin as I set my
chin on his shoulder. "Looks like it just needed a gentler
touch."
    A flurry of Spanish I don't understand follows
my tease as he pushes open the door. Maybe I ought ta' learn
Spanish. Guess I could start watchin' Dora with Sarah's girl when I
get back.
    Damn, that's something else I gotta find a way
ta' make right. Kyle and Sarah deserve a talkin' to, and an
apology. I gotta finally put my foot down about that drunk husband
'a hers, too.
    But not tonight. One thing at a time. Deal with
Austin first. Then Victoria. Then Austin and Victoria at the same
time, then-
    Holy fuck, that's the hottest damn image ta'
ever come through my head.
    "You coming?" Austin asks, holding the door open
for me.
    Hell yes! If I have
anything ta' say about it, you bet yer ass I am. That makes me
snort a little giggly laugh as I walk past Austin.
    Before I know what's happening, the door shuts,
he whips me around by the arm and stares deep into my eyes.
"Whatever crazy thoughts have you giggling like a schoolgirl need
to end."
    The hold on my arm makes my blood race. I love
his strength and the way his gray eyes look straight into me. "Why?
Thought we was havin' fun?"
    "Thought I made clear why last night." He lets go, sets down his
suitcase and stares at the wall with both hands planted on his
hips. "Dammit, I'm trying, Saul. I'm trying to be the best friend
you deserve, but when you tease me like that..."
    Undeterred, I mosey on up behind him, snaking a
hand up between his shoulder blades. "Like this?"
    "Stop," he exhales. "I don't want to do
something I'll regret. Having sex with you-"
    "I don't wanna have sex with you," I whisper
into his ear before nipping it. "Thought I was clear last night,
too."
    His chin falls to his chest. "I don't
understand."
    Well, aint that a peach. I finally get something
he don't. With a flick against the back brim, I send his hat
tumbling to the ground then wrap my arms around him. I hold him as
tight as I can, my cheek rubbin' his while I hope I can be
enough.
    "I love you, Austin. No, I don't love you the
same as Victoria, but I don't think it's possible ta' love two
people exactly the same. I don't love no one the same as I love
you. That's gotta mean somethin', right?"
    His hands trace a path up my arms until he
reaches my fingers that are curled into his shirt. "I'm afraid," he
admits in a whisper. "One day you'll decide the sex isn't what you
want anymore, or that you and Victoria want to be exclusive
again."
    "I can't pretend ta' know what's in the cards
for the future, but I think Vickie done made it clear she wants us
to try this. I wanna try it, too."
    "Saul..."
    "I want you, Austin, and I don't wanna run from
these feelings no more." Detaching my body from his enough to coax
him around to face me, I say what I should'a said last night. "I
don't want you to fuck me, Austin. I want you to make love to
me."
    I watch in awe as an understanding blossoms in
his eyes. It's so beautiful - that moment when he accepts what I'm
offerin' an' decides ta' take a chance on this. I think, maybe,
he's acceptin' things about himself in that moment, too.
    I wanna give that to him more than anything -
that ability to be comfortable with yerself. I wanna hold hands
with him in public just as much as I want him ta' take me to bed. I
want a real relationship with this man, built on the foundation of
our friendship an' open to the idea 'a Victoria sharin' it with us.
I smile, 'cause I see those same wants reflected right back at me
in his eyes.
    "I love you," he affirms before sliding a hand
up the back 'a my neck, tugging slightly on my hair and pullin' me
into a kiss