In Favour of Fools: A Science Fiction Comedy (These Foolish Things Book 1) by J Battle

can’t see an obvious route.’
    JJ bent until his head was level with the driver.
    ‘It’s quite simple, you just...’
    The bag that was thrown over his head was something of a surprise. As were the strong arms that grabbed him and began to drag him towards the back of the van. He was a big man and he did his best to resist, but he was not at all fit and the blow to his stomach left him helpless to prevent them tumbling him into the van.
    ‘This is...’ He wasn’t sure what it was, he just knew that he didn’t like it.
    Then he felt a sting on the side of his neck and his weak protests died away.
    The van drove him from the town centre, along the A6 to Levenshulme, to a large white building, and down into its underground car park.
    When consciousness revisited him, he was strapped into a heavy chair in a bright spacious office. The unusual sunshine glared into his eyes and it was some time before he realised that he was not alone; that there was someone sitting behind the desk.
    ‘Who..? Where..? Why..?’ Obvious questions.
    ‘Hello, Mr. Johnson; James. We’re sorry we had to be a little rough with you, but we didn’t have time to attempt to persuade you to come of your own will.’
    The speaker was a tall, lean man with dark hair and immaculate nails; he studied them as he talked.
    ‘What do you want with me? I don’t have any money.’ JJ went for a forceful bluster.
    ‘We don’t want your money. In fact, if you are co-operative, there will be a good deal of money coming your way.’
    The man stood up, and walked around the desk until he was very close to JJ. He could smell his moisturiser and see his own face in the guy’s shiny shoes.
    ‘If you don’t co-operate, there will be deaths. Believe me on that. Not just yours, though you will be the first. Next we will visit your delightful wife; Mary. It won’t be a pleasant visit, and when it is finished, she will also be dead. You parents are still alive, aren’t they? For now, at least.’
    He walked back to the desk, and planted his skinny buttocks on its edge.
    ‘Now that the unpleasantness has been dealt with, I hope we can move on and not talk about it again. How does that sound?’
    ‘I don’t know what you want. ‘
    ‘It’s quite simple. I want you to go on a journey. It’s a one way trip, I’m afraid, but that doesn’t mean it has to be bad; does it?’
    ‘Where?’
    ‘We’ll come to that in a moment; it’s hardly relevant. Before you go, you’ll have to undergo some basic visage modifications; nothing too drastic. We just need you to look like someone else. You might even find that the change makes you more successful with the ladies. In any case, it’s a non-negotiable part of the deal.’
    He smiled at JJ and examined his nails again.
    ‘How does that sound?’
    ‘I still don’t understand what you want.’ JJ wriggled in his chair; it was not a pleasant sight.
    ‘I’ll put it in simple words, if that’s what’s required. You will leave this building, when your appearance has been changed to match that of another, and squirt to a planet of our choice. You will stay on that planet for the rest of your days and, as payment, you and your quite delicious wife, and your poor parents, will be allowed to live, and there will also be a considerable financial inducement. Does that cover all of your questions? Or is there something else you feel the need to know?’
    JJ closed his eyes for a moment. Was this really happening?
    ‘Why?’ he said, at last.
    ‘Why? I’m afraid that’s privileged information. It’s on a need to know basis, as they say; and you don’t need to know.’
    He smiled then, and JJ felt a cold chill run down his back. 

Chapter 17 - Then nothing
     
    Twenty-one planets had been opened up by the strange, hardly understood miracle that was Fool’s Squirt technology. Planets that otherwise might have taken mankind thousands of years to reach; if the journeys were even possible at the snail-pace required